Where We Belong
by xVenusRosex
Summary: What happens when crazy fangirl completely changes season 12? This story. Warning: wincest/mpreg/implied disappearance of a character.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Crack!Fic. Chaoes ensues. Mpreg.**

 **Disclaimer: I'll only put this once, since I'm posting the entire thing. I don't own Supernatural and I make no money from it. Obviously.**

 **Anyway, enjoy this craziness. Or not. This is the most random story I've written. For real.**

* * *

Life was surreal for the two brothers. It always had been, but they had gotten used to hunting. To demons, angels, and monsters amongst other paranormal entities.

But having their mother back was beyond anything they were ready for.

Shortly after Sam had said his final goodbye to Dean, he received a phone call from the man who should've died. Looking up at the warmly blazing sun, he grew confused. The bomb was supposed to have gone off and yet his brother was calling him.

"Dean?" He asked in a short whisper.

Cas tilted his head, coming to stand closer to the other brunette. Sam looked up at the angel with wide eyes, smiling a little before he focused his attention on what Dean was saying. Somehow, he was still alive.

"Yeah, look, I have a lot to explain to you when I meet you back at the bunker. I've got Mom here too. I'll explain later." He murmured gruffly, hanging up before Sam had a chance to speak.

"Dean's okay. He's okay." Sam breathed, still staring at his cell unseeingly.

Cas smiled. "We should hurry back and meet them there." Placing a hand on his shoulder, the angel transported them back home.

o

It took a few hours for Dean and Mary to arrive. When they did, a warm meal was waiting for them. Sam had gotten take out, but it was the best he could do at the moment. He wasn't much of a cook. It was more Dean's thing.

"Dean." He hugged him tightly as soon as he walked down the stairs. Pulling away, he glanced curiously at the woman who stared uncertainly back at him.

"Sam?" She murmured. "Wow…last time I saw you, you were so little. Look at you."

He smiled nervously, unsure of where this feeling came from. He continued to stare and stare without saying anything, causing Dean to give him a look.

"I know this must be a huge shock for you, it's still a shock for me. I never expected to be brought back." Mary murmured.

"Amara revived her." Dean explained to Sam, noticing his bewildered expression.

"Oh…well, I'm glad you're here." He murmured somewhat awkwardly, moving forward to hug her tightly. She gasped, smiling widely as she returned the embrace.

Looking between the two, she noticed how different they were. "Sam, I think you might be taller than both John and Dean." She noticed, chuckling.

They both smiled warmly, yet there was still this awkward tension hanging in the air. Cas stepped forward then, hugging Dean without warning. The hunter stumbled back a little, before slapping him on the back in a friendly manner.

"I'm glad you're alright. I feared that was the last time I would ever see you." He admitted.

"Good to see you too, man." Dean grinned, "Cas, this is my mother. Mom, this is Castiel. He's an…an angel."

"An angel?" She repeated flatly. In all her years as a hunter, she thought such things were simply made up. "He's actually an angel?"

"Yes, it is nice to meet you." Cas shook her hand, nodding.

"Okay…" She blinked several times, pulling back. "I think I should go take a nap."

"We have dinner if you'd like some now." Sam interjected hastily, gesturing to the set up table.

"Oh, well, sure. Looks good. But I think I ought to lay down. I'll eat with you tomorrow, is that okay?" Mary still sounded disorientated. It was to be expected after being revived so suddenly. It would probably take some time for her to adjust completely.

"Sure, of course. No problem." Sam said, while Dean nodded.

o

As they sat at the table the following evening, the tension became very clear. The only sounds were of silverware clanking, everyone focused on their own plates instead of each other.

"This is delicious, mom." Dean finally mentioned, smiling at her.

Sam let out a quiet breath of relief. As much as they insulted each other, one of things he loved about him was his ability to break the ice. Dean was much more sociable and outgoing and suddenly, Sam was overwhelmed that both his brother and mother were here with him.

He didn't know if it was pure luck or fate, but honestly given their history both of them should be dead presently. Mary too.

"Thanks, but it's just take out. I would've cooked, but I don't." She shrugged, taking another bite of chicken.

"The meatloaf though, it was always so good." He insisted.

"Piggly Wiggly." Mary admitted, setting her fork down. "I bought pie too, if you'd like some. You still like it, don't you?"

"Definitely." He patted his stomach, grinning widely as she placed a blueberry pie in front of him with a knowing smile.

Opening the box, he sighed contentedly. Hastily, he began eating it like he'd had nothing to eat for dinner. Sam watched with a look of disbelief, before glancing at their mother. Mary only smiled, shaking her head amusedly.

"Can you eat that any faster?"

"No…" He swallowed, slowing down a little as he turned to Sam. "Want some?"

"No, I'm good." Sam forced a smile, watching as he continued to eat without so much as wiping his face.

o

Later that night, Dean looked through the photos he kept in his drawer. All of his childhood photos splayed out of in front of him seemed so unfamiliar suddenly. He was glad to have his mother back, but it was odd. Like it went against the natural order.

Downing his beer, he sighed moments later with a frown. There was also the matter of explaining their strange relationship to Mary. He already could sense she knew that something was very off between them—she was a woman, and had that damned female intuition. It would be nearly impossible to hide it much longer.

Earlier while they were in the car the other day, she asked the question he hoped she wouldn't ask.

"So, you and Sam are still hunting?" She had quipped, quite innocently but he could see the calculating look in her eyes. A very motherly, stern gaze that made his blood run cold.

He had frowned, adjusting the rearview mirror. "Yeah. You know, Sam's different though. He had the chance to leave the life. He even went to Stanford for awhile."

"Yet he left school to hunt? Why?" Mary had asked, nearly horrified.

Dean had swallowed thickly. "It was my fault. I came back for him, I didn't want to look for dad alone. He stuck around, I guess."

She had softened her gaze, nearly tearing up. "No, honey, it's my fault. I started this. If it wasn't for me, that yellow-eyed demon wouldn't have gone after Sam."

Dean had said nothing. The radio had buzzed quietly, just loud enough to hear the music without it being distracting.

"But after you found your father, after the yellow-eyed thing was dead he…stayed?" Mary had still sounded confused. "Why didn't he go back to school? Get married? In fact, why didn't you?"

He had sighed a little, gazing out the window briefly. "We realized that after finding dad, after traveling around, the only thing we had besides this car was each other."

The answer hadn't seemed to satisfy her. He could tell she had wanted to know more, but had kept quiet the rest of the ride.

o

Sam sat in his room, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't process that his mother was back. A woman he didn't know. She'd given birth to him, but that's all he knew about her. Sighing, he stood up and decided to try to speak to her a little. It was better than sitting here.

Knocking on her door, he waited a few moments before slowly entering when he heard nothing. Mary stood folding some clothes up, before she smiled as he came inside.

"Sam."

"Hi, mom. I, uh, wanted to see if you wanted anything. Drink?" He offered.

"I'm okay, thank you."

He hesitated, before stepping further into the room. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he continued to stare at her.

"I know me being here must be confusing for you boys. You lost me and suddenly I'm back. It's hard for me too though. There's so much about you two I don't know." Mary said, smiling sadly. Sam merely looked down, frowning. "Like, your first crush. Your favorite color. How you grew up. There's so many blanks to fill in, you know?"

Sam handed her a journal, before meeting her gaze. "Look mom, for me, having you here fills in the biggest blank."

Mary looked down at the book in her hands, flipping through the pages. Sam walked over to her, gesturing to the name inscribed on the inside of the front cover.

"It's dad's. It explains a lot of what happened after your death. It could be helpful to understand how we spent our childhood and his thoughts…" Sam shrugged, smiling at her.

"Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome."

After he left, he still felt uneasy though. He didn't understand why he wasn't happier, why he wasn't filled with the giddiness of someone who had regained a missing part of their life.

He sighed, stopping himself there. He knew damn well what the problem was. With that thought in mind, he went into the kitchen where his brother sat looking at old photos.

"Dean. We need to talk." Sam said seriously.

"Yeah, I know."

They sat together on the floor, leaning against the wall of the kitchen island behind them. Pushing the stools out of the way, Sam scooted closer. Dean gave him a look like it was a dumb idea, but the younger man didn't care. He placed a hand over the older man's, before gripping it tight for a few moments.

"We need to go our separate ways now." Sam began carefully, letting his hand go as he folded his arms instead.

While they had never been intimate, their relationship was more than odd. It wasn't quite romantic, but not platonic the way siblings should be. Yes, they (mainly Dean) had one night stands with women, but there was still this odd, co-dependent irrational bond between them. This need to have the other close by. It was strange—even Dean hadn't been able to put it into words years ago. Love, family, whatever it was between them. Those words still echoed in Sam's mind.

They lived together now in the bunker. Dean cooked for them both and did the laundry. Sam took care of the research. They basically lived like an old, married couple. Even their mother was beginning to notice it, even though she'd only been there a few days.

To his surprise, Dean nodded. "You're right. You, uh, remember when we met that married couple? The hunters?"

"You mean the man who was seeking vengeance on that thing who murdered his brother?"

"Mhm. When they told us they were quitting, I felt so damn happy for them. I finally understood how Bobby must've felt when I lived with Lisa and Ben." Dean explained.

"And yet here we are." Sam said.

"Look, Sam. This is my fault. I pressured you into helping me find dad. I should've left you alone, let you live a normal life." Dean said quietly. "For god's sake, you were at Stanford with a full ride for your undergrad. Dad and I should've realized what an amazing opportunity that was, praised you for your intelligence. But back then, we didn't. We made you feel bad about leaving us. We were beyond selfish."

Sam scoffed, causing him to glare over at the other man. He was revealing his feelings to him like a chick, not understanding how difficult it was for him, and he had the nerve to laugh? Before he could get angry, the younger man turned to him.

"It's both our fault. We both made mistakes. And we both had a tough childhood, alright? But ultimately it's not really your fault or dad's, because that yellow-eyed demon came back for me. Pulled me back into hunting regardless of whether you showed up or not. Jess is dead because of that." Sam told him, lifting his knees and casually resting his elbows on his thighs. "Not to mention, I could've left anytime, and I didn't. You know why?"

"If you say it's cause I love you, I'll punch you in the face." Dean snapped. "No corny stuff, I swear."

Sam nearly laughed, gazing down instead of at those beautiful eyes. "Well, I do. Also, I couldn't leave all these years because honestly, I don't know if I'd be able to do it."

Dean frowned. "What the hell do you mean? It was easy enough for you to live with Amelia. You didn't even look for me."

Sam sighed, knowing he would never let that go even though it happened years ago. "I don't how many times I have to apologize for that. You were gone and I figured I could start my regular life then, but you came back. And instead of being angry that my chance at normalcy was gone, I was actually…relieved."

"Because I was alive?"

"Yeah, but also because things with Amelia weren't going so well towards the end. I kept having weird dreams, nightmares. It made me truly realize that hunting will stick with me no matter what and that it makes it difficult to have a normal life." Sam explained.

"Same thing happened to me. With Lisa." He admitted.

"I know, I remember."

The silence was deafening suddenly. They sat there quietly for awhile, not sure what to say at this point. Sam looked conflicted, biting his lip. Dean looked over at him curiously, leaning forward to peer at him closely.

"Hey man, you okay?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged with an almost helpless expression. "Mom's back. God and Amara made amends, and that's great…but what happens now?"

"We quit hunting." Dean reiterated gruffly.

"Dean, you're gonna punch me in the face cause this is seriously corny, but…I don't wanna leave you. And mom being here complicates things because I know she wants us to have a better life. But I like the life that I've made with you."

"You said earlier that we need to separate." Arms folded across a broad chest, green eyes staring over at him pointedly.

Sam nodded. "I know, and I meant it. Still, I was only saying it because of mom. This is gonna sound horrible and probably makes me a terrible son, but I almost wish it was still just us. It was less complicated. I like being with you, Dean."

The older man sat there silently to his shock, staring straight ahead blankly. "Sam…no."

"What?"

"I love you too, but we need to separate before we seriously hurt someone."

"By someone you mean mom."

"Exactly." Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Like you said, mom being here is gonna change things. We need to do this for her."

Sam almost looked frustrated, confusing him. "Why? We're grown men. If this is how we wanna live, then isn't it our decision? She's going to have to accept it eventually."

"Sammy…" Dean sighed heavily, closing his eyes in exasperation. "Yes and no. Yes, we are adults and should be able to live how we want. But unlike you, I know what having a mother around is like. I don't remember much, but it ain't gonna be how it was with dad."

The younger man looked genuinely confused, blinking a few times slowly. "What?"

Dean shrugged. "Dad kinda let us do whatever we wanted when we weren't hunting, let us discover stuff on our own. Women are different, mothers are different. They nag, they get involved in your business and I mean all of it, they care way too much, and they love you like nobody else would. So, yeah, us staying together would make her unhappy. Mom's unhappy, everybody is gonna be unhappy. Believe me, Sam."

Sam swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I don't think all mothers are like that."

"Of course not, but ours is. Trust me. Even though I was only four, I remember. She loves us, Sam." Dean said emphatically, placing a hand on his shoulder and peered up at him with a seriousness that was strange for him.

For some reason, hearing him say that made tears prick at his eyes. He figured she did love them, but to know it was true. To see her back again, it did fill a void he didn't realize was there.

"So how soon are you leaving?" Dean asked.

Sam's stomach twisted. "You really want to leave the bunker? This is our home now, there's knowledge here that we can't find anywhere else. We're freakin' men of letters, Dean."

"Yeah, but…we can't stay together either. Mom's weirded out by us."

"Weirded isn't a verb."

"Shut up, you nerd. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you. We gotta find a solution, Sam."

"You can stay here, I'll leave." Sam said begrudgingly. "I could go back to school, maybe?"

Dean nodded.

Sam smiled a little. "I can visit you, you could visit me."

"Right. Like a normal family. We can do normal, right?"

Sam's lips twitched as though about to smile, but didn't. "I guess so. Wouldn't hurt to try…again. For the tenth time."

They stood in silence, still uncertain about the future. Sam wasn't sure when he'd leave to reapply to schools, but he figured it would be soon. Summer was ending and applications for the next school year would be due soon enough. Getting into law school with his long absence would be challenging, but not impossible. He'd figure it out.

Dean stood there, wondering what he'd do if he couldn't hunt. Fix cars, take out a loan to own a bar maybe. Gamble professionally. Attempt to go back to school somehow. He didn't know.

With those thoughts in mind, they silently went back to their rooms to get some sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning light filtered through the window of the kitchen. Dean stood in his robe furiously whipping eggs much harder than necessary. Setting the bowl down way too hard, he took a breath. He didn't know why he was angry this morning. None of his feelings were making sense. He and Sam should be elated right now. Not sad, mad, and all this other depressive crap.

Their mother was back from the dead, after all.

"Dean?" She called, slowly walking through the door.

He continued to cook, pouring the eggs in the pan to scramble them. "Hey." He smiled, watching as she came to stand next to him.

Mary continued to look at him as though fascinated, before she attempted to take the spatula out of his hand gently. Dean pulled it back, gazing at her with wide eyes, though he kept the warm smile on his face.

"I got it." He murmured gruffly.

She looked a little put off, confused perhaps. "Okay, well even though I can't cook, I'd like to."

Dean nodded, shrugging. "Sure, no problem. You can use the stove when I'm done."

Mary laughed a little, tilting her head. "That's not what I meant. I want to cook for you two."

"It's cool." He said evenly. "I made enough for the three of us. If you want pancakes, we're out of flour. We have orange juice though."

Mary smiled more tightly, looking a little upset to his surprise. "Not to sound old, but back in my day, it was the woman's responsibility to do things like this. I don't mind."

"You upset so many feminists with that statement." Dean murmured amusedly, chuckling. He dumped the eggs onto a platter, setting it aside on the counter. "These are different times, mom. I cook, I clean. Hell, I'm practically Martha Stewart."

"First of all, I'm serious. Secondly, let at me least make your plates." She insisted.

Dean shook his head. "Nah, I got it."

"Honey-!"

"Mom, I've lived on my own for a long time." He explained. "I know how to take care of myself. I'm not some helpless guy that needs his girlfriend to pick out his ties and find his socks. I can do everything, and I mean everything, alone."

Mary was stunned, not sure what to say. She stood there silently just gazing at him like he was an alien until another voice cut in moments later.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Dean. You were also busy taking care of me." Sam interjected, shoving his hands into his jeans as he walked in.

She looked between them. " _You_ did? What about John?"

"He did his best, but Dean mainly took care of me. In a weird way, he was my mom?" Sam shrugged, laughing. "And my dad, and my brother. He also hunted more with dad than I did. I think it made him grow up fast. Very fast."

"Oh, shut the hell up. I'm young at heart. I'm not childish." Dean retorted with an amused smirk, knowing full well what he meant by that.

Mary was close to tears when Dean looked at her though, despite his effort to lighten the mood. She began sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she suddenly left the room.

The two brothers stood staring at each other, then the door.

"Sam, you and your big mouth. She didn't need to know that." Dean snapped.

"Mom was gonna find out eventually." Sam countered calmly, not letting the other's temper rile him up. He was used to it by now anyway.

"Still. Time and place, Sammy. Time and place."

"To me, that was the right time. Better to let her know about our past now, then to have her keep discovering weird bits and pieces along the way." Sam replied more loudly, not backing down.

"Our life is pretty weird, huh?"

"Sometimes, the truth needs to come out." Sam said with a nod.

"We should give her some space."

Sam nodded, grinning widely which seemed very inappropriate at the moment given the somber mood and the fact their mother was literally sobbing, before he flashed something in front of Dean's face that made him gasp.

"Man, is that—?" He couldn't even say it.

"Look, I'll just say this now. When you said your final goodbye to me, I was devastated. So when I came home, Cas suggested that I grieve properly but of course I don't know how to do that given our past, so then he told me that I should take a trip someplace. Somewhere that you've always wanted to go, to remember you by I guess. Take you in spirit or something."

"Sam…"

"So I bought one ticket initially, obviously cause I thought you were dead. Then I bought two more when I found out about mom."

"Sam…" Dean still couldn't believe it, shaking his head. "You didn't. Do you know how much money that costs? Do we have that kind of money? When you were gonna tell me? In fact, why didn't you say something sooner? Like, I don't know, when we were in the kitchen yesterday?"

Sam blinked, blowing out a breath. "I've never heard you ask so many questions."

"I've never received tickets to go to Hawaii." Dean bit back. "On a plane, which you know I hate flying!"

"Most people would be very happy to go here. Grateful, also."

"I'm not most people. I don't like all that fancy stuff. Besides, what are we gonna tell mom? Oh hey, I know you're suddenly back and really upset, but let's pack up our bags and go?"

"Yeah." Sam replied with a warm smile, "Besides, you're the one who told me a few years ago that you wanted to go to a beach. Relax for once."

Dean couldn't argue anymore because the younger man, as usual, was right. "Sure, but I meant like California or Florida."

"Do you wanna go or not? I need to know so I can get a refund while I still can."

"Look. Thank you, Sam. It's kind of you and I am grateful, but I can't."

"Okay, well I'm going then."

Dean looked down at the confirmation sheet. "When are you going?"

"I leave next week."

"Short notice."

"You two came back pretty suddenly." Sam reminded him.

"I know."

They said nothing for several moments. Dean looked down at the eggs that were cold by now undoubtedly. He set about making two plates anyway, warming them in the microwave before placing them on the counter.

"You sure you really don't wanna go with me?" The younger hunter asked, meeting his gaze. "If anyone deserves this, it's you. You've worked hard, Dean. We both have. I think it'd be good."

He took a big bite of his eggs, appearing to mull it over. "Hm, well it does sound nice. Amazing, actually."

"So you're going?" Sam asked, eating his food before it got cold again. "One last trip together, then we can go our separate ways."

Dean laughed, nodding. "Why the hell not? You're right. We've never been on an actual vacation. Well, not like this anyway."

"I'll tell mom about it."

"Good call."

o

It took some convincing, but Mary agreed to go too. Sam noticed she and Dean had much in common—from their looks to their personalities. She was as stubborn as he was. He hadn't thought it would be so damn hard to convince people to go on a vacation, but then again they weren't most people.

Even as they sat at the airport, Sam could tell Dean was feeling nervous. The older man didn't really know how to relax, unless it was at the bar or casino. He felt good about this though. This trip was going to be great for all of them. And finally, they could put hunting behind them.

"Son of a bitch." He heard Dean mutter.

"What's up?" Sam whispered worriedly.

"My stomach feels weird."

"You're just anxious. That's all."

Dean muttered something incoherently, before he turned to Sam with a petulant look. "I hate planes."

"I know."

"Why couldn't Cas just zap us there? Way faster and easier."

"Because for the hundredth time, traveling is part of the vacation. You'll see when we land." Sam explained, but he could tell his brother wasn't buying it.

Mary smiled at them, sitting down in a chair near Dean as she sipped on a coffee. "You boys ready?"

"Yep." They answered simultaneously.

o

The plane ride wasn't as bad as Dean had thought. He managed his way through it, like the previous ones. Unlike the trip to Scotland, he hadn't needed several sick bags. Some sleep medication did the trick this time, along with music drowning out most of the noise.

"Wake up." Sam nudged him, trying not to laugh at how wide open his mouth was. "You're drooling a little."

"Huh?" He wiped his mouth, blinking hazily. "What?"

"We're here, sleeping beauty." Sam joked, gesturing out the small window.

"Whoa…" Dean blinked several times, taken aback by the island. It was actually more beautiful than he imagined, certainly better than the pictures if that were possible. "It's awesome."

As they left the plane, leis were placed around their neck. Dean chuckled a little, examining it with one hand as he lugged his suitcase easily with the other. He glanced over at Sam, who returned his gaze. Mary quickly caught up, brushing some hair behind her ear.

"It's so beautiful here." She murmured. "I never thought I'd get the chance to see it. Thank you, Sam."

"No problem." He replied, trying not to blush like an embarrassed kid when she kissed him on the forehead.

Dean smirked, before he got a kiss on the cheek. "We're glad you decided to go too." He told her.

"I figured it'd be a great way to spend time with you two. A real family vacation, our first one together technically." She realized.

o

The trip to the hotel was short and soon enough they found themselves in a well-decorated room. Looking at the two queen sized beds, Sam realized there was going to be a problem. Setting down his suitcase, Dean glanced at the beds too.

"I'll sleep on a cot." He suggested.

"I could pay for another room, if they have one available." Sam thought aloud.

Mary shook her head quickly. "No, no. You've already paid for so much. It's fine."

"Really, mom. Let me." He didn't want to tell her that he still felt awkward around her and wanted to be alone with Dean, so he simply waited for her answer.

"Well, alright. It would be nice to have my own room." She murmured. "A bit lonely though."

"Trust me, we're horrible sleepers. Toss and turn all night. It's bad." Sam said convincingly.

Dean narrowed his eyes, pausing. "Dude, that's not tr-!"

"I believe you." Mary replied anyway, ignoring his protests. "You know each other better than I do. I still have a lot of catching up to do with you two."

After everything was settled, Dean sat onto his bed with a weird look. "Why did you lie to her? I sleep fine. You tell me I lay on my stomach and sleep deeply, that I barely move."

"Yeah, but, it's better like this." Sam told him. "Mom gets her own space, we get ours. Three's a crowd, right?"

"Right." Dean looked like he had something more to say, but refrained.

o

The next day was when they decided to head down to the beach. The jet lag had worn off and they felt energized. The three made their way down and Dean paused when he saw some of the beautiful women standing around in bikinis.

"I'm really glad we came here." He smirked.

"Typical." Sam muttered amusedly.

Mary stood staring at the waves as though entranced, before gesturing towards the shops. "I'm gonna go get us some drinks."

"Thanks." Dean turned to set his towel down, suddenly feeling like he was having an out of body experience. It felt weird to be here, but he couldn't deny that he was enjoying the island.

Digging his feet into the warm sand, he sat there momentarily trying to take it in. To ingrain it into his memory. The warm breeze blew onto him, caressing his skin. For a few minutes, he simply watched the palm trees swaying back and forth with the wind. It was like time had stood still and he wanted it to last longer. Taking out his cell, he looked through all the photos he'd taken already. Sam peered over his shoulder, backing off when he sent him a look.

Dean looked up when Sam tossed off his tank and promptly left.

"Dude!" He looked appalled almost, throwing his hands up.

"Well, I didn't just come here to get a tan." Sam laughed, nodding towards the water. "C'mon."

"In a minute." He called as the younger man went into the water.

Looking up when Mary handed him a drink, he peered into the cup. Taking a sip, his brows rose a little. It was very sweet, but good.

"Tropical fruit punch. Don't worry, we can grab something stronger later. Beer or wine, maybe?"

"Trying to be the cool mom?" He smirked.

"Hey! I am the cool mom, thank you very much." She retorted angrily, though her eyes gleamed mirthfully.

He noticed she looked uneasy, making him tilt his head slightly. "You look worried."

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. It's just, I'm still adjusting to being back here." She admitted.

"Oh, like Buffy in season six when she came bac…" Dean trailed off, his face hot. "Not that I've ever watched that show."

"I literally have no idea what it is. Whatsoever." Mary laughed, and he eventually laughed too.

"You wanna go in the water with us?" Dean asked, standing up.

"I'm okay here. Gonna catch some sun." She replied. "Did you put on sun screen yet?"

"Mom." He looked a little exasperated. "I'm good."

"Alright, I'm just making sure. I know you're not a baby anymore."

"Thanks."

Dean walked to the shoreline, tentatively stepping a foot in. It was warm and clear. Wading out further, he wondered why he couldn't see Sam. He tried to stay calm, watching as the waves rolled past him. They weren't too big at the moment, but the later in got in the day it would pick up.

Suddenly, he saw him emerge not far from where he stood. Sam slicked his hair back and waved. Dean rolled his eyes and scoffed, swimming out further.

"The water feels good." The older man commented idly.

"Yeah."

Dean's gaze fell on a sectioned off area and he smirked. "Hey, wanna jet ski later?"

"I guess so."

Floating on his back, he enjoyed the rare peace he felt, glancing over at Sam dove under the water again.

o

One round of jetskiing and one session of parasailing later, and they were wiped out. Dean blinked tiredly, stretching his back as he reveled in the warm breeze that swept through the area. Sam handed him a large coconut, before sticking a straw in his own.

"This is very…tropical." He drank a little, narrowing his eyes. "Sweet."

Sam nodded his agreement.

Dean smirked, before taking the flower that came with it along with the tiny umbrella and stuck the flower in his hair.

"I think it's a good look for you, Sam." Dean tried not to laugh immaturely, stifling his amusement by pursing his lips.

Sam sighed, rolling his eyes heavily before taking the flower and twirling it between his thumb and finger. "Are you seven?"

"Alright, lame joke. Sorry." He apologized.

"Whatever." Sam smiled. "Anyway…have you seen mom? She said she would meet us here by the souvenir shops for the luau tonight."

"No, but she'll be here soon probably. She said she was feeling strange earlier. If she doesn't show up in the next ten minutes, I'll go back to check on her." Dean assured him.

"She has been acting odd, even for someone newly revived." Sam agreed, before asking, "Dean, when you first saw her, did you notice anything peculiar?"

The older man had to think about it. "Now that you mention it, mom was wearing the same exact thing she wore the night she died. She looked clean, which makes sense. Mom was burned after all."

"Right. She didn't have to climb out of a grave, like you did. She just appeared?"

"Yeah. Amara revived her." Dean repeated, looking confused. He wasn't sure where Sam was going with this.

"Hm. When you and Cas came back, you both looked like crap. You were revived differently, but still. There was a sign of struggle and I knew it was you guys when I saw you."

"Thanks." Dean gave him a sarcastic smile.

"But mom looked fine."

"She kinda appeared out of thin air."

"Huh." Sam looked thoughtful. "Dean, what if it's not really her?"

The older man frowned. "Excuse me? Why would Amara bring her back if it wasn't the real deal?"

Sam frowned, shrugging. "Amara cared for you, and she probably did revive her, but maybe not in the way we think. She is the darkness, after all. The only person with power to truly bring people back is—!"

"God."

"Think about it."

"No, Sam. I refuse to believe Amara would bring back an…an imitation. She's evil, but even she wouldn't do that."

"Maybe she thought bringing an imitation back would be a nice thing to do…better than doing nothing for you, I guess."

"I still don't believe that." Dean muttered, half way ignoring him now.

"I'm just saying."

"I'm gonna go find mom, I'll meet you at dinner."

o

Fire blazed warmly around them as they ate their dinner. Dean set his fork down, watching with fascination when the hula dancers came out. Mary smiled, nudging him when the fire performance started.

She looked oddly pale to Sam, prompting to him to lean over worriedly. "Mom, you okay?"

She turned to him with a warm smile. "Sure. Just lightheaded, that's all."

Sam didn't look convinced. Dean was too wrapped up in the show to notice. The younger man gazed at her, noticing her distant look.

"It's just…excuse me." She murmured, suddenly standing up and walking from the table.

Dean immediately noticed that, standing to follow after her. "Mom, wait. Where are you going?"

From the look on her face, he could sense it wasn't a temporary thing. She looked about ready to leave the island itself. Mary chewed on her bottom lip, before shrugging with a desolate expression.

"I should be happy right now. I'm back with my boys. I'm in Hawaii. I could hunt again with you two possibly…" She shook her head slowly, "But the truth is, I miss John. I miss my boys."

"We're right here." Dean looked confused.

"No, I meant the memory I have. The boys I knew. The little baby and my son, Dean." Mary sighed wistfully, grasping her elbows in a sort of self-comforting embrace. "I left hunting to lead a normal life. I was so happy. And now, I'm back and it's all too weird for me. I'm so sorry."

"What are you saying? Are you leaving?" Sam asked.

"This vacation is amazing and I'm thankful, but I don't know if I can adjust to being back here. I need some time away. I'm sorry, but I have to leave early." She didn't meet their gazes, she couldn't.

Dean only stared at her, unseeingly almost as he stood still. Sam noticed this, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder before moving to step forward to her. He tried to peer into her eyes, but she persistently avoided his gaze.

"I love you." She promised him, looking up finally. "I love you both."

"Mom…" Sam whispered, narrowing his eyes. "Please don't go. It doesn't have to be weird."

Mary smiled wryly. "I think it might be too late for that. This isn't the life I wanted for you boys and it doesn't seem like it will change."

"What? That's not true. We're quitting as soon as we return." Sam told her.

"No, you won't. I can tell you've been doing this your whole lives, you two are bound to each other. It's just not what I envisioned when you were little. I imagined…" She sighed, cutting herself off. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry, but I need to go back early. I hope you can understand."

Sam watched her go, Dean remaining eerily silent. He turned to look at his older brother, at the hard stoic expression. There was a faint trace of tears, but he blinked it away before he could be truly certain it was there.

"Dean…she'll come around. Give her time." Sam said encouragingly.

Dean looked at him directly. "Maybe."

They watched her walk away, standing there in the sand side by side.


	3. Chapter 3

Mary was able to take an early flight back, leaving the brothers together on the island for two more days. It didn't feel as much fun anymore though, with the weight of that conversation hanging over them. Neither spoke much after she left. Dean went and did his own thing, Sam did the same.

It was only when Cas appeared before him that it snapped Dean out of his miserable mood. The angel found Dean sitting drinking beer at a bar near a pool. He looked very unhappy for someone on such a gorgeous island.

"Dean."

The hunter paused, sitting up straight with wide eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's very nice to see you as well." Cas said rather sarcastically, having got the hang of it over the years.

"Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to show up." He mused.

"Or me, I suppose." Crowley's voice cut in, making his eyes widen.

"Great." He muttered, downing the rest of his drink and letting out a long, heavy sigh.

Cas and Crowley sat next to him and that's when Dean realized something was odd here. An angel and demon hanging out, working together, and seemingly cool with each other at the moment. It made Dean look between them and smile crookedly.

"What happened?" He asked, knowing something awful must've happened for them to work together willingly.

Cas glanced at him with his usual stoic expression. "Lucifer is back in a new vessel. He's captured Rowena as his prisoner."

"Really?" Dean didn't sound that shocked. "Well, I assume he wants to take over hell."

Crowley nodded. "You'd be right. The bloody bastard thinks it's a good idea. I told him ruling over heaven made more sense what with God on another break."

"So let him have it." Dean insisted. "He's Lucifer."

Crowley looked extremely offended, narrowing his eyes. "I'm the king of-!"

"Hell. We know." Dean interrupted, waving the bartender over for another round.

"I've quite missed you, Dean." Crowley smirked.

"Missed you too, buddy." Dean bit back just as sarcastically.

Cas sighed. "Enough immaturity, you two. This is a serious problem."

"You guys wanna stop Lucifer?"

Cas' brows rose. "Yes. Don't you?"

Dean accepted the beer with a polite smile and tip, before turning to face him. "No. I think Sam and I are done. There's always gonna be evil out there somewhere and we've done a lot of good. We're getting old, Cas."

"That's true." The angel nodded.

Dean pursed his lips, closing his eyes before adding. "Anyway, we were thinking about quitting hunting. It's what our mom would want. If we can't do it for us, like in the past, then we damn sure can do it for her sake."

"I see." The brunette replied, looking ahead. "I suppose I cannot convince you to help us then."

"I want to, but…"

Crowley looked over at him. "Forget it, Castiel. Dean's finally gone soft."

"No, I want to be normal." Dean said before he could stop himself, nearly blushing as the words left his lips.

The other two men were very silent, not sure what to say to that. Then Crowley said something that changed his perspective.

"Normal?" The demon nearly chuckled. "You've seen things people can only imagine and expect to be normal? You two have sealed your fate, the longer you hunted. The way I see it, you can never be like a regular man. You've seen too much. Done too much."

"Sam can do it. He's not like me."

Crowley laughed, a short and rude laugh that made Dean glare at him. "Perhaps he's more intelligent, but he's just as wrapped in the life as you are. By now, anyway. Maybe in the past, he could've found a way out. But now? Well, as they say, you're already in the hole. Too late, boys."

"I have to agree, unfortunately." Castiel admitted, frowning almost apologetically.

Dean's heart began pounding for some reason. He felt sick. His stomach twisted and he pushed the beer away from him. He noticed people nearby were looking at them weirdly—he couldn't blame them however, as their conversation was strange.

Standing up, he turned to face them. "Sam and I are done with hunting. End of story."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Save it. You're not, you never will be. Not until you both die."

Dean looked at him like he'd slapped him across the face.

"That's a bit harsh." Cas murmured. "I believe you could do it, possibly. Although probably not."

"Thank you, Cas." Dean smiled sardonically.

"So, will you help us?" The angel asked.

"...fine." He muttered somberly. Dean supposed they were right. This was his life. He'd taken down bad guys before and he'd keep doing it until he literally couldn't any longer.

o

At around the same time, Sam was having a conversation with a woman that clarified things for him suddenly. He had met her at a café that sold pastries and tropical-flavored drinks. Sam noticed the healthy shakes, buying one and sitting down outside. He noticed bees were hovering near him, making him swat at them hoping not to get stung in the process. It seemed hopeless and he was about to leave to go inside instead, when a woman approached him with a bottle of bug repellent.

"Try this. It works wonders." She told him. "No bees have stung me yet, well so far."

"Thanks." He sprayed his arms and legs, handing it back to her. "…um…?"

"Leilani.

"Sam. That's a pretty name, by the way."

"Thanks, but it's common around here." She smiled.

"Right." He smiled nervously.

"On vacation?" She prompted, sitting down as she brushed some wavy black hair behind her ears. Sam nodded, sitting in the chair across from her.

"Yep. It's been…nice." He lied easily. Well, partial lie. It had been nice, besides their mother leaving abruptly.

"Are you here with a special someone?" She asked, and if he didn't know better he would say Leilani was flirting with him.

"No. My mom and brother." He told her.

"Oh, a family thing. That's good. Never take them for granted." She said, taking a bite of her bagel.

Sam almost laughed. "I don't, trust me. I've been working with my brother basically since we were old enough to work."

Leilani's eyes widened hugely. "You don't get sick of him?"

Sam blinked curiously. "Well, sometimes. But I know I annoy him too. We always find a way to work it out usually."

She looked impressed. "Wow, if I had to work with my sister and brother that long, I'd go crazy. My siblings are so annoying. I mean, I love them, but they are really something else."

"Oh?"

"Well, yeah. You know. Most people can't work with family like that, much less siblings unless it's a family business."

"Well, what we do, it's like a family business. We help people." Sam said vaguely.

"But you have your own separate lives at least." Leilani commented, and Sam's eyes widened a little as he wished he could tell her how wrong she was about that. "My parents almost convinced me to open a souvenir shop with my older brother and move in with him until it took off. I said, no way! I couldn't imagine being around him all the time, even if it was only for awhile."

Sam looked like he'd seen a ghost then, tilting his head. "Huh."

"Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright. I just realized something, that's all." Sam smiled, looking down into his drink. "Tell me more about your family."

"Well, not much to tell. What about you?"

Sam had plenty of outlandish stories to tell her, but wisely kept it private. "Eh, not much either."

o

It took awhile, but he found Dean hanging out on the beach again. He'd called him to figure out his location before looking through a crowd to find him. It hadn't been hard, since he stood out. Sam paused right there, wondering where that thought came from. He had to admit though, Dean was very attractive. Beautiful, even. When he approached him, he could see girls checking him out though his older brother was quite actively ignoring them which was strange.

"You okay?" Sam asked, sitting next to him on the sand.

"No." He mumbled. "Cas and Crowley were here earlier."

"What? Together?"

"Long story, but short version is Lucifer's back in a new vessel and he's got Rowena."

"Wow."

"I'm gonna help them."

"To what, kill Lucifer?"

"I guess. I don't know." Dean sounded irritated. "Man, our lives are so messed up. I'm truly realizing it now. I knew it was, but it kinda hit me hard you know?"

Sam nodded. "Believe me, I get it. Still, I want you to know I'll stay with you and hunt, cause honestly it's our normal."

"You don't want to go back to school?"

"I don't know how I'd handle being in a court room after all our tangles with the law, how many rules we've broken, how many bad things we've done in order to save people. Or each other."

"I wouldn't say bad so much as selfish."

Sam remained silent, before looking back at the ocean.

o

They tried to spend their remaining time swimming, relaxing, and taking tours together. Their spirits felt lifted despite Mary's absence. The evening before they were supposed to leave, Dean heard something interesting as they took a walk.

"I heard rumors that the missing people were taken by something, like a creature." He heard a man whisper.

"I doubt it. Hawaii has dangerous trail paths. Probably fell off a high cliff into the water." Another man responded.

Dean stopped, trying not to eavesdrop but his curiosity got the better of him. Sam stopped too and gave him a look, pulling his shirt slightly to get him to start walking.

"No hunting on vacation." He said sternly.

"But-!" Dean's green eyes widened.

"No."

"Ugh, buzzkill."

"Let's just enjoy our last night here, okay?"

"I have enjoyed this trip." Dean assured him. "I just think it'd be cool to check it out. A hunting trip in Hawaii? Bet you never thought that would ever happen."

"No, I didn't. Because I don't want to hunt on vacation." Sam reiterated, raising a brow.

"I'll just check it out real quick." Dean told him.

"We don't even have the necessary weapons." He lowered his voice so others wouldn't hear him, leaning closer to Dean. "You could get hurt."

"Aw, that's sweet. I'll be careful, trust me."

"If you're that adamant about it, I'm going with you. You're not going alone."

"I just love it when you take control like that." Dean muttered facetiously.

"Oh, whatever."

o

They walked on the narrow dirt path towards the source of the disappearances. After interviewing a couple people, it wasn't hard to connect the dots. They had disappeared near an inactive volcano.

"Dean. How do you know they didn't fall off these cliffs?" Sam looked down nervously. They were high up and if he were to lose his footing, it could possibly be fatal.

"I dunno. You might be right." Dean realized.

The surrounding lush area was very silent. Unusually, if there was a monster or demon, there would be signs of it. A nest, something.

"I think for once those were just stories." Sam added.

"Ugh, I'm getting old. My back." Dean leaned against a tree, sighing blissfully when it cracked just right.

He gasped when his foot got caught around a thick vine, sending him backwards as his lost his balance. He didn't realize a rather steep hill was behind him, hidden by the lush trees of the trail path. Dean yelled in pain as he toppled down, rolling until he hit the bottom in a bunch of bushes that softened the blow.

"Dean!" Sam called, his breathing frantic as he parted the trees.

"I'm okay." He moaned out, getting onto his knees. A bit bruised up, maybe a broken rib or two, but otherwise he felt fine. Luckily, his head hadn't collided with anything hard.

"I'm coming down, hang on." Sam told him.

"Don't." He groaned, standing up shakily.

He came down anyway, much more carefully. Slowly climbing down, he hopped onto the ground and jogged over to him. "Dude, that was kind of a long fall there. How you feeling?"

"A little dizzy. I'm good."

"We need to get you to a hospital anyway, you might have a concussion."

Dean was too busy staring at something to hear him properly. In the distance, a hidden stone building laid beneath some thick trees, palm trees further blocking its view. He began walking towards it slowly, his eyes transfixed on the object in front of it.

"Dean?"

He stood before the small statue, focused on the jeweled eyes.

"Hello?" Sam waved a hand in front of him, also staring at the statue. "Yes, it's pretty. Can we go now? You're hurt."

Dean felt compelled to reach out and touch it, and did so. Sam humored him, until he noticed the eyes start to glow and ripped his hand off of it.

"What the hell?" Sam muttered.

The older man blinked several times, as though snapping out of a trance. "That felt weird, like a huge rush of something."

"Why'd you touch it?"

"I dunno." He murmured hazily. "It looks old. You think it's responsible for the disappearances?"

"Somehow, I don't think so. C'mon, let's get you checked out now."


	4. Chapter 4

After visiting the local doctor, they were relieved to find it was a mild concussion and a couple bruised ribs. Dean would be sore, but he'd heal. As they packed up to leave to the airport, Sam noticed the older man staring out the window. He set his suitcase on the bed and turned off the television.

"Alright. Ready to go? Check out is in an hour."

"It's funny, I didn't wanna come here at first. Now I don't wanna leave." He said wistfully.

Sam smiled. "Life's funny like that sometimes. Ironic, I guess. So…I'll meet you downstairs?"

"Huh? No, I'm ready."

Dean didn't bother to mention that he still felt an odd rush of energy flowing through him. It made his skin hot. There was a sense of dread, or perhaps confusion, coiling in the pit of his stomach.

o

On their way back, Sam kept waking his brother up anytime he started to nod off. The fifth time, he reached over and turned the music up louder.

"Ugh, c'mon man. I'm actually tired. I was up all night."

"You can't fall asleep just yet." Sam reminded him again.

"Concussion. Right." Dean yawned, blinking several times as he rubbed at his eyes. "I should eat something."

"Here, peanuts. It'll give you something to do."

The flight attendant noticed how exhausted he looked, leaning closer to their seats. "Are you alright, sir? We have pillows."

He was about to respond, but suddenly felt a hot, burning sensation run through him making him arch his back uncomfortably. Dean began sweating a little, not sure what going on with his body. It took him several moments to snap out of his trance enough to hear what Sam was saying to her.

"Alright then, nevermind. I'll be back later." She said, nodding.

"Thanks." Sam nodded towards her, before glancing at him. "You alright?"

"Sure." He replied tightly, settling deeper into his seat.

Sam gave him an odd look, but let it go.

o

When they arrived at the bunker, Dean asked the obvious question. "Where do you think mom is? Does she have any money?"

"I gave her enough to get by for a couple days, but I have no idea where she is."

"She doesn't have her cell on her." Dean remembered.

Cas appeared suddenly, making them both flinch despite being used to it. The angel walked over to Dean, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"She's fine for now."

His body seemed to sag from relief. "Thanks, Cas. How did you know I was worried?"

"Your thoughts." The angel murmured vaguely. "It seems Mary is not far from here."

"Makes sense. She was revived close by. It's familiar." Sam replied.

"Yeah…" Dean still looked concerned, sighing a little. "Wait, Cas. What did you mean 'for now'?"

The angel shifted uncomfortably. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems something is a bit off with your mother."

"I told you!" Sam exclaimed before he could stop himself, clearing his throat moments later and avoiding Dean's scathing stare. "I meant, I also felt like something was off."

"Explain." The older hunter said tightly.

Castiel paused, looking up pensively. "She's back, but not in the sense you'd think. It's her form, her memories, but I'm not sure it's truly her."

Sam gasped suddenly, moving to face Dean. "Missouri."

He rolled his eyes, smirking at him. "Sam, this is not the time to be making plans for another hunt or a road tri-!"

The younger man shook his head, looking frustrated. Not at Dean, but at himself for not being able to articulate his thoughts.

"No, no. Remember Missouri, the psychic who helped us when that poltergeist attacked our childhood home?" Sam prompted.

Dean stared at him with wide eyes. "Holy crap, you got a good memory. That was literally over ten years ago."

"Obviously you remember too, if you knew…nevermind, anyway when it was all said and done we sat outside, and she told me mom destroyed herself to save us and that family from the other spirit." Sam explained.

"Destroyed herself, as in her soul?"

Cas nodded. "Yes, her spirit was destroyed and sent back to heaven, unable to return to earth. It wouldn't be possible."

"Um, hello? I'm pretty sure the freakin' darkness could bring her back. I mean, c'mon guys. Her and Chuck have that ability, right?" Dean asked.

"God does." Cas nodded. "He brought me back, you back. Amara, however? I'm not so sure."

Dean scoffed, leaning back against the wall casually as he crossed his arms. "Whatever. She's back, whether it's really her soul or not. I'm just glad she's here."

Sam and Cas didn't know what to say to that, so they reluctantly agreed instead.

"You should get some rest. You haven't slept in a long time." Sam realized.

Dean was too tired to even tease him for being concerned, so he simply nodded and walked to his room, slamming the door shut.

o

The younger hunter let Dean sleep, not disturbing him until the next morning. He woke up early as he usually did, heading over to his brother's room quietly. Dean tended to sleep in now, unlike him. It was only seven thirty in the morning.

Opening the door as silently as possible, he peeked his head in and was surprised to see the bed neatly made. The other man didn't usually get up until eight or nine, sometimes later if there weren't any cases going on.

It made him glad to have the bunker once again. Before settling here, his brother barely slept at all. Sam wondered how the hell he ran on three, four hours like that in the past without it affecting his health. Or his own health, for that matter. Shrugging, he closed the door and blushed when he ran into him half-naked. Dean tightened his towel around his waist, slicking his hair back. Smiling crookedly, he walked around him and to his door.

"Hey."

"Back at you."

Walking to the kitchen instead, he poured himself some cereal. Dean came in minutes later, eating whatever was left in the box. He sat across from him also eating his food silently. Sam became acutely aware that neither of them were discussing the important matter at hand.

"I guess I'll start looking for a job." Sam murmured suddenly.

Dean looked up, smirking. "Good. I should too."

"Wait, I can see me quitting, but you're actually done?" Sam set his spoon down, raising a brow.

"I guess. I don't know." He sighed. "Cas and Crowley want my help stopping Lucifer, but now that we're back I'm reconsidering."

"Oh."

"Besides, I gotta find mom."

"I think she needs more time." Sam disagreed. "Mom's an adult, she'll be fine on her own."

"Yeah, but I still think I should find her."

Sam chuckled, shaking his head which made the older man tilt his head curiously. "Something funny?"

"First we needed to find dad and the yellow-eyed demon, now we gotta find mom and Lucifer. We're never gonna lead normal lives are we?"

"…nope, probably not…" Dean had to laugh, looking down at the table instead as he smirked and shook his head slowly. "Still, you deserve to go and try to live the way you want to. I can find her on my own."

"I don't mind hunting with you."

"I know, but you're right about finding a job. It's time for you to live your own life." Dean murmured.

Sam paused, frowning. "Right."

"You've put up with a lot, Sam. Mostly me. I know I've got…quirks."

Sam couldn't deny that. His brother was a living contradiction. He was loud, crass, and tough and yet when it came down to it, he really meant well. In some ways, Dean was kinder than he was. He doubted the older man's self-esteem was at a healthy level, and he was codependent at that. He didn't know fully what their father had said and done to him when Sam wasn't listening or was too young to understand, and he also didn't want to find out. He supposed John had done the best he could, given the circumstances.

"Most people do. You're not the only one with bad qualities. I've got some too."

"Yeah, but, I know I'm…" Dean seemed to struggle to find the right words without it being overly sentimental, and grimaced with annoyance when he couldn't. "I've got so many. It's-!"

"Seriously?" Sam looked incredulous, his stomach tightening for some reason. "Dean, sure you're a little bossy and aggressive, but you're a good person. Trust me, I know what bad is."

"You've called me a bad person before."

"I was joking." Sam looked irritated. "You're actually pretty damn awesome."

Dean smirked, glancing at the wall instead. "You're not so bad yourself."

The atmosphere became strange suddenly. It had happened a few times before, and it was always uncomfortable. Moments like this, where suddenly they felt like they were having a conversation reserved for a couple rather than siblings.

The older hunter swallowed nervously, smiling to ease the tension. "You want some coffee?"

"No, thanks."

Dean walked over to the counter, grunting with annoyance when the pot got jammed. Sam came over and easily fixed it, pressing the button to start it. The other man looked at him pointedly with a deep frown.

"I could've done that."

"You're welcome."

The older man shifted uncomfortably, still feeling awkward for some reason. He'd never felt this uneasy with Sam around. Normally, it was the opposite. Never really thought much on it either. He turned to look over at him, noticing the younger hunter looked like he had something to say.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just I don't want you going after them alone. I think I'm gonna stick around for awhile longer."

"You don't have to."

"I'm going to. Is that a problem?"

"….no." Dean gave him an odd look. "You're unusually adamant about hunting this morning."

Sam shrugged, smiling a little. "This is our life. Like I told you years ago, that apple pie life isn't what it seems. Grass is greener on the other side, you know."

"Someone with a normal life could say the same about us." Dean reminded him.

"True. Well, assuming they even know what our definition of hunting means."

It was silent for awhile, until they felt a presence behind them. The two turned around and they smiled at the familiar face.

"Cas." Dean gestured for him to sit.

"You may actually want to sit." The angel said warily.

"Okay." They both sat down and it was tense for a few moments until Cas looked between them.

"Rowena banished Lucifer's vessel to the bottom of the ocean, Vince Vincente that is." He began, only to be quickly interrupted.

"Wait, the old rock star?" Dean clarified.

"Wow, really? I like some of his…" Sam trailed off when he saw his brother's disbelieving gaze, shrugging as he laughed nervously. "I do. I like his music, I mean his third album was pretty good."

"Unbelievable." Dean muttered, before turning back to the dark-haired angel. "So, why do you look so worried? He's gone for now, right?"

"Was…he escaped." Cas sighed heavily, "And Billie's done something to Mary."

Dean and Sam both froze, their breath hitching. They glanced to each other, before focusing on Castiel again with grim expressions. They almost didn't know what to say.

"Did something or killed her?" Dean asked sharply.

"She's vanished." Cas explained. "The reaper called Billie showed up, I tried to stop her after locating her, but she was too convincing. Mary believed her words. I'm so sorry Dean…and you too, Sam."

"She reversed what Amara did?" Dean asked, though it was more of a statement. His brows furrowed as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, clasping his hands so tight his knuckles turned white. To say he was upset was a huge understatement.

Cas looked horrified suddenly, causing the two to spin around to look behind them. How he found their location, the angel didn't know. It was too late now as he was already here.

"No, I didn't. Billie offered her a choice with a little push from me." The man smirked. "It goes against the natural order and you know it. A mother shouldn't be practically the same age as her sons."

"Lucifer?" Dean murmured, backing away subconsciously as did Sam.

"It's a new vessel, you like?" His smirk grew wider. When they didn't answer, he shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway."

"Why would you do that?" Sam asked, suddenly furious. "She's done nothing to you. In fact, we've done nothing to you."

"Yet." He finished for him, the smirk disappearing. "I know what you Winchesters are about. There's already two of you, three was a crowd."

"Oh, you—!" Dean began, about to cuss him out until Cas stepped in.

"Lucifer, have you not done enough already? I let you use my body, you've committed unspeakable crimes, and now this? Mary was innocent."

"I don't need to explain myself anymore, I'm free." He answered nonchalantly. "I'm gonna take over Hell and that's that. If it means anything to you, Mary's fine. I imagine she's back in her personal heaven. She was happier there and you know that's true."

"Maybe, but it doesn't justify what you've done." Dean retorted. "I'll kill you."

Lucifer's eyes swept over his body, noting the energy the humans couldn't see. "I very much doubt that. You'll be too preoccupied. Anyway, tell Crowley his time is coming to an end soon. For whatever reason, he seems to like you. See ya."

With that, he vanished. The two brothers were confused at his words, looking to Cas as though he had the answer. In this case, he didn't.

"Preoccupied?" Dean repeated, blinking several times.

"Maybe somehow he heard our plans to quit hunting before, that could be it." Sam reasoned.

"No, the way he said it was…weird." He disagreed. "It sounded like we'd die or something."

Cas turned to him. "Your aura is strange right now, Dean. It's different."

"Huh?" His brows rose.

"You haven't used a spell recently, have you?"

"No."

Cas nodded, looking reassured. "Then it's probably nothing. He lies, it is what he does."

"Right." Dean nodded, smiling a bit.

With that said, the angel disappeared from sight. Dean slowly moved towards a chair, plopping onto it as he sighed loudly. Running a hand through his short locks, he turned to look at Sam. He seemed to be staring at him in a way he didn't appreciate.

"I don't need your pity." The older hunter murmured.

Sam sat next to him, nodding. "Sorry. It's just, I know this must be harder on you than me. You actually knew her for a little while. You have memories of her. I can't imagine how you're feeling."

Dean scoffed, standing up suddenly. He was entirely done with this conversation. "Look, enough talking about feelings. It's over. Mom's gone again. I just have to try to deal with it…"

"You don't always have to be so closed off. I'm here if you need me." Sam reminded him, a bit louder this time. It made him a little upset that he was always so unwilling to let others help. His brother was the epitome of stubbornness.

"Whatever. I'm gonna be fine, I just need some time to process this. One minute she's here again, then she's gone…again." Dean almost tempted to laugh for some odd reason. Their lives were always unusual, but now things were becoming ridiculous. He was getting too old for all of this, he assumed.

"I get it, trust me."

Dean only smiled a little, before pursing his lips. "Thanks, Sam."

The younger man nodded, standing up and walking over to him with a warm look. He stared at the wall for a few moments, before glancing back at the silent figure next to him. Right now, he wasn't sure what to say. There was only so much he could do to make this easier for him. Sam stood there awkwardly for a little while longer before he met his gaze directly.

"Look Dean, we've been through…" He paused, shaking his head with an almost disbelieving stare, "…so much together over the years. So much crap I'm not sure how either of us are still alive or sane for that matter."

"Maybe we're not." Dean mumbled.

"What?"

"Sane, I mean." He laughed a little. "Look at us, Sam. We've hunted so long, we're basically almost Bobby. No offense to him or anything."

Sam wasn't sure to laugh or not, because it really was too truthful to be funny. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right." Dean shot back, sighing. "And we're still together."

"Well then, let's—!"

"You and I both know that's not gonna work." Dean interrupted, already figuring out what he was going to say. "We've tried living normal lives. It only ends up with us dumping our issues onto the women we love. And our issues run deep, Sam. It's either that or be alone for the rest our lives."

"Sure, hunting's made us a little unusual—!"

"A little? Sam, we're so far from normal. We may as well just finally accept it, you know?"

"...true." The younger hunter shrugged.

Dean glanced at the floor unseeingly, placing a hand to his forehead. Blinking back hot tears, he cleared his throat and looked over to the side instead. As he moved to turned out of the room, a strong hand gripped his shoulder, preventing him from leaving. Rolling his eyes at the cliché move, he turned to glare at Sam.

Shrugging him off roughly, Dean went to leave again only to be pulled back. "Alright, what?" He snapped, spinning to face him.

"I…" Sam looked uncertain, like he was contemplating doing something incredibly bold. "It's just…"

"Okay, weirdo. I'm leaving." Dean gave him a tight smile, before turning to leave the room.

The other man stood there for a brief moment, wondering if his next move would ruin everything. If this was it, if this was their lives, then why not? Logically, he knew it was wrong. Everything about his thoughts were wrong—abhorrent, even. Truthfully, these sort of thoughts weren't recent. They'd occurred briefly over the past few years, but he'd always shoved them down. They remained hidden.

But he wasn't thinking logically at the moment. All he knew was that they'd been through everything together and there was no one that he loved more.

Beating him to the door, he shut it gently. Dean only looked at him humorlessly, raising a brow. Sam swallowed nervously, the only sound audible to him was his own rapid heartbeat. The older man was rapidly becoming aware of the changing atmosphere and backed away a couple steps.

"What are you—?"

A firm kiss was pressed against his full lips before he could finish his sentence. Dean reeled back, panting heavily as he shot him an incredulous glance. Before he could discern what the hell was going on, he found himself alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean stood there, unsure as to why he wasn't more disgusted. He waited for the feeling of sickness to wash over him, to make him nauseous, and grew anxious when nothing happened. He was pretty damn sure that was the wrong reaction. No, he knew it was. And yet, he simply stood there trying to collect his thoughts.

Rushing out of the kitchen, he found Sam in his room. The younger hunter sat on his bed, running a hand through his hair with the most mortified expression he'd ever seen. Turning to face him, the color faded from his face to an unnatural pallor.

"I'm leaving, I just need to…grab my things and I'm gone." Sam assured him, knowing he had to be pissed.

Surprise jolted him when Dean frowned a little and shrugged. "Whatever. I think we're both not in our right minds."

"Dean…"

"I'll leave you to it." He murmured gruffly.

Yet, he didn't leave the doorway. Sam noticed this, walking over to him with a confused stare. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Why aren't you?"

Sam placed his hands onto his shoulders, before sliding them to the sides of his face. "You realize if we…this changes everything."

"Who cares at this point, honestly? We'll never make our parents proud." Dean said roughly. "Whatever we have between us is obviously what's kept us together all this time. It ain't just the 'family' business. Clearly we're screwed up, end of story."

"Well, our lives are unusual. Why would our relationship be any different?" Sam wondered aloud.

Dean gave him the most humorless, put-off expression he'd ever seen.

"Don't try to rationalize this. There's nothing rational about this." He gestured between the both of them, glaring at him furiously like their entire lives were somehow his fault.

"I'm sorry you're so unhappy, but I've actually enjoyed traveling around with you. Helping people." Sam replied, as though reading his mind.

Dean seemed to relax, looking away suddenly. "I've enjoyed it too mostly. It's still weird though and people over the years have tried to warn us we'd end up like this. Or alone, or dead…"

Sam distracted him by wrapping him into a hug. "I think we're doing alright, for hunters anyway."

"Yeah." Dean smiled genuinely for once, something the other man didn't see very often. Then he froze and pulled away with a horrified look. "Oh, god Sam."

"There it is." The younger hunter nodded with a grim frown, waiting for the shit to hit the fan finally. He figured Dean's reaction to all this had been delayed, that he would lay into him how sick he was.

"No, no. I'm not mad." He shook his head, still horrified. "It's just, we're like those god awful slash fiction stories we found all those years ago. The ones the fans wrote for that weird website."

Sam paused, cracking a small grin. "Oh, yeah. Like the one Becky wrote. Weird."

"Too weird."

"Can we just pretend that this never happened?"

"Is that a fucking joke?" Dean rarely used that curse, meaning he was finally angry. "We can't pretend that we didn't make out."

Sam flinched, his face hot as he tore his gaze from those furious, green eyes. "Sorry, stupid thing to ask."

A loud clap of thunder was heard suddenly before rain started to fall heavily. Dean was almost tempted to laugh at the cliché timing of the storm and their argument. The rain grew impossibly louder before the lights started flickering slightly. And before they knew it, the power went off.

"Awesome." The sarcasm was dripping from that one word. "Mom's gone, we're acting like backwoods hillbillies, and now this."

Sam found a few candles luckily, lighting them and placing them on his drawer. Dean watched with an amused stare.

"You have candles?"

"Shut up, Dean."

"Why does a grown man have candles?"

"Why can't a grown man shut his mouth?"

Dean sucked in a breath, before smirking as he let that comment go. "Whatever. So do you also take bubble baths? Drink tea?"

"You know what, your macho act isn't funny Dean. It might work with the ladies, but you don't fool me. Maybe you should learn some self-care practices, might be useful in the future." Sam retorted, placing his lighter on the nightstand. "I know you're still feeling horrible, so knock it off for two damn seconds."

"Okay, fine. Geez."

"Just saying."

Sam cursed as he turned, tripping over something hard in the slight darkness, tumbling forward with a loud thud. When he collected his bearings, he realized Dean was pinned under him and glaring holes into his head.

"Sorry." He mumbled, their face inches apart.

They hesitated, before Sam daringly pressed a kiss against his lips gently. Dean's eyes widened slightly, but otherwise remained still. The younger hunter cupped his cheeks, pressing his lips harder against his own, slowly biting at his bottom lip. He admired the older man's cheekbones, the beautiful features, the way his lips parted slightly.

Before either could think on it too hard, Sam distracted him by moving to his neck and suckling at the sensitive flesh. Hands dug into his hair as he moved lower to his collarbone, moving his shirt up slightly. He licked a pink nipple, taking it into his mouth and sucking it until it was hard. He nipped it before moving to the other, eliciting a moan from Dean.

Clothes were torn off hastily, their hearts beating loudly in the tense quiet. Sam leaned down to tentatively lick his limp shaft, noticing how quickly it hardened as he continued to suck him. Dean arched his back slightly, stifling his moans. Sam seemed to sense his shame, only pressing his tongue harder against the leaking tip, making him moan louder than intended.

A hand slowly stroked his thigh, nearing his entrance. Dean tried to sit up, to tell him off and that there was no way he was going that far, before he felt something that made him pause. His breath hitched as a finger pressed against the highly sensitive flesh, before it slid into him gently. Dean's muscles clenched and he hissed in pain, shaking his head.

Sam took his entire length into his mouth, one hand gently massaging his sac as his other hand drew back. Dean relaxed more, and soon enough he felt his finger enter him again minutes later, this time with less resistance.

It grazed his prostate lightly, making him moan at the unexpected pleasure. His cock was throbbing urgently as Sam took him in deeper, gliding up and down slowly. It was driving him mad.

"Sam." He groaned, bucking his hips a little. It was overwhelming to experience such pleasure and discomfort at the same time. It definitely hurt, but there was still spot the younger man kept hitting that felt so damn good. He needed more. "Sam…"

Sam flipped them over suddenly, so that he rested onto the bed on his stomach. Hearing him say his name like that pleased him for some reason. "Tell me if it's too much."

"I don't care, just…" Dean sighed impatiently, burying his face into his arms.

Sam nodded, swallowing hard as he realized this was something they couldn't take back. One half-lidded gaze from the older man made him lose whatever restraint he had left. Dean could sense Sam hesitating for a moment behind him, before he felt his hard member slid against him, warm and throbbing.

Then came the sharp discomfort again. He could tell Sam was trying to be gentle, but it still hurt. Clenching his teeth, he buried his face into his arms again, moaning as he arched his back more. He eventually met his thrusts, panting as it began feeling good. The angle he was bent at, leaning over the bed, caused Sam's cock to easily hit his prostate repeatedly until he felt dizzy. It was a good dizzy—a pleasurable haze that left his thoughts incoherent. The only thing he could focus on was everything his body felt.

"F-fuck…" He moaned, closing his eyes.

It went on for what felt like a long time, their bodies pressing against each other.

Then he felt his muscles tighten, a tingling feeling building up intensely, until he froze and came hard onto the sheets. Sam had to slow his pace, groaning at the sensation of his entrance contracting around his arousal. He came not long after him, burying deep as he kissed at his neck. Dean finally opened his eyes blearily, blinking hazily as he felt Sam pull back.

Sam collapsed next to him, both of them panting heavily. They were too tired now to even react over what they'd just done, content to lay there for a few minutes. A few minutes eventually turned to a couple hours as they took a long nap, enjoying the other's warmth.

o

Dean woke up first, sore and sticky. Grimacing, he shakily stood up and glanced down at Sam who was still sleeping. He grabbed a towel and trudged unsteadily into the shower, wincing a little. He couldn't believe they'd actually done that and yet it was too late. Part of him wished he could take it all back, the other part irrationally loved Sam.

"Great…" He muttered as he turned the shower off, slicking his hair back, "What have we done?"

When he came back to the room, he noticed Sam was gone. Not just gone, but most of his stuff was gone too. Dean sighed heavily, folding his arms. It wasn't unexpected, and yet he felt somehow emptier. Still, it was better this way. They couldn't face each other after this, or at least it didn't seem possible.

Heading to his own bedroom, Dean sat down with another wince and stared at the wall intently as though it held fascinating mysteries. Then he glanced to the drawer filled with weapons. Sliding it open slowly, his eyes swept over the gun and knife he kept hidden in his room just in case something happened and he couldn't get to the impala's trunk fast enough.

The hunter picked up the pistol, fiddling with it for a moment with a contemplative look. Something told him to hold off though, it was more of a intuitive feeling than anything. Setting the gun back, he figured it could wait. At least it could wait until he spoke to someone a last time.

"Cas, it's me. I don't know if you can—!"

"I'm here."

The hunter stared at him for a moment, before tearing his gaze away. After the sin he'd committed, it felt highly inappropriate all of a sudden to look an angel in the eye.

"I wanted to say thank you."

"For?" Cas prompted.

"All you've done for us, I guess. I don't think we appreciate you enough, Cas. We can kinda be dicks sometimes, or at least that's what Bobby used to tell us." Dean murmured amusedly.

"He wasn't entirely wrong. You two can be very selfish." He agreed, before adding, "Yet you two are some the kindest, bravest humans I've met. You're good men."

"Not so much anymore…" Dean mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"That's all I wanted to tell you. Just…thanks."

"You're behaving oddly, Dean." Cas' eyes narrowed. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Dean replied casually.

"It wouldn't have to do with that odd green light?"

Dean gave him a funny look. "What the hell are you on about?"

"Humans can't see it, I suppose." Cas said pensively. "It's surrounding you."

"…alright, whatever." Dean said dismissively, "Anyway, I'm gonna head out for awhile. See you later."

Cas watched him walk away for a few moments, before deciding he didn't want the hunter to be alone right now. He seemed depressed. "If you'd like to join me, I'm going to track down Lucifer."

Dean paused, before nodding. "You know what? I could use a distraction. Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

It took them a few days to track down his location. It hadn't been that hard, considering he was still in his current vessel's body. The man was famous and easy to locate, needless to say. It looked like he'd be performing a private concert.

Soon enough, about a week later, they found themselves in Los Angeles. Cas stared incredulously at the flyer for the newest private event, before glancing at Dean who was putting a jacket on in front of the mirror. "Can Lucifer even sing?"

"I guess we'll find out." He replied, adjusting his leather jacket. "Does this look like I'm trying too hard?"

"I wouldn't know." Cas's eyes swept over him. "It looks nice."

"Thanks." Dean turned to him, smirking. "Are you still gonna wear that?"

Cas looked down at his attire before nodding. "I always do."

"Well yeah, but I meant-! It's just, it's a concert."

"And?"

Dean sighed. "Nevermind, you look fine. We should get going now."

o

When they got there, they were only half surprised to see Crowley there too. He appeared in front of them as soon as they were in the venue, smirking as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Clearly he didn't care about being inconspicuous.

"Dean. Cas. Fancy seeing you two here." He said sarcastically, before narrowing his eyes as his tilted from confusion. Something was missing. Or someone.

"What is it?" Dean grumbled tiredly, suddenly not feeling well. Honestly, he felt strange all day but hadn't said anything. Nauseous, mostly.

"Where's the giant?"

"Sam's not here." Dean told him. "He's probably…you know what, I don't even care honestly."

Crowley's smirk grew. "Lover's spat?" He joked, laughing lowly at the hunter's expense.

Little did he realize what a nerve that struck. Dean glared openly, confusing the demon for a moment. The hunter turned his back on him, walking past them to get closer to the stage. Cas frowned slightly, already knowing what he was upset about. Dean didn't know this, but the angel was aware of what had transpired. It was easy enough to read his thoughts. He thought no less of him, as he had promised himself he would look after this particular human.

"Something's up between those two." Crowley realized, well aware he hit a nerve. "What happened, Castiel?"

The angel turned to him with his usual stoic expression. "Nothing of importance."

"Are you really lying to me?" Crowley's brow rose disbelievingly.

"Not entirely. It depends on your definition of important." Cas moved past him too before he could say anything else.

Crowley stood there a moment, pursing his lips before he followed after them. They stood together, waiting for him to come on stage. Dean looked through the crowd idly, mostly out of boredom until he spotted a familiar face and cursed under his breath.

"Dean?" Cas looked concerned.

"I don't believe this…" He muttered.

Crowley noticed him too, looking over at him. "I guess moose decided to show after all."

Dean walked through the crowd of people, tapping his shoulder. Sam turned to see his brother glaring furiously at him, a brow raised expectantly as though demanding an explanation. His breath hitched, only partially shocked to see him here.

"What are you doing here?" They asked in unison, before pausing awkwardly as they looked away from one another.

"I tracked him down myself." Sam finally said moments later. "I'm still hunting. I can see you are too."

"You can't be serious." Dean muttered. "What happened to the Sam who wanted a normal life?"

"He's been gone for awhile." The younger man answered honestly. "But that's not important. You look awful. Like, really pale."

"Thank you." He murmured sardonically.

"I'm serious. Are you…okay?"

"Yeah, just tired." He shrugged.

"Nice jacket." Sam noticed.

"Not sure if you're being sarcastic, but I'm gonna take that as a compliment."

It was then that they both seemed to realize how at ease they were around each other despite their last encounter. It seemed no matter how dark, bad, or apparently twisted things got they still cared for each other. Dean wasn't sure how to feel about that revelation.

"And now what you've been waiting for, Vince Vincente!" A loud voice boomed and the audience cheered loudly, causing the two to glance over at the stage.

"This is crazy." Dean said, shaking his head.

"Now we've seen everything." Sam agreed.

Cas and Crowley appeared beside them, also staring intently at the stage. When he came out moments later, they exchanged a glance between themselves. It was clear that after the concert was over, they would need to strike him down somehow.

"Are you ready?" He shouted, the audience cheering in return.

As soon as the music started, Dean began making his way backstage with Sam right behind him. Cas and Crowley stayed in the crowd, in case he tried anything during the show. The two hunters flashed their fake backstage passes, easily gaining access. It seemed even though they were apart, they had still been on the same page with the false i.d.'s and badges.

Walking through the narrow hallways, they found his room. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before opening the door. They shut it quickly, before rummaging through his things. To their immense surprise, there wasn't really anything that sinister hidden in the room. Mostly there was plenty of alcohol, unfinished songs, and some delicious looking sandwiches wrapped up on a plate.

Dean couldn't help himself, peeling back the clear wrap and taking one. It looked like a ham sandwich. He took a huge bite, his eyes drooping at how good it tasted. As he began chewing though, it started tasting vile to the point where he had to spit it out into the trash can and began dry heaving.

Sam nearly dropped the guitar he was admiring, setting it down carefully as he walked over to him. He placed a hand on his back, trying not to look disgusted as he kept gagging. Luckily, he didn't actually throw up but he was close. Dean straightened up, taking a deep breath through his nose and sighing. He sat down silently, swallowing thickly as he placed a hand over his queasy stomach.

"Are you alright?"

He shook his head, surprising Sam. Normally he refused to admit signs of weakness much less that was he was sick. Dean must've truly felt like crap. It made him worry a little, but he knew how tough his brother was. He'd bounce back from it.

"If you were so nauseous, why'd you eat that?" Sam asked, trying not to sound amused for his sake but he couldn't help himself.

"It looked good. And I'm so, so hungry. I haven't been able to eat properly for like three days." Dean admitted.

"You're throwing everything up?" Sam clarified.

"Pretty much."

"Yikes. Sorry." He sympathized. "Maybe just try crackers or mints for now? Peppermint helps with that."

"Oh, awesome. Now you're telling me to eat like a woman in her first trimester." He spat, rolling his eyes. "You know what? It'll pass soon. I'm gonna get a burger later and damn it, I'm keeping it down this time."

"Alright, I'm just trying to help." Sam laughed, shaking his head. "Go ahead and be stubborn. Your choice."

"Ugh." Dean leaned back, wishing his stomach would stop rebelling long enough for him to focus. "Did you find anything good?"

"No. You?"

"Nope."

"What do you think Lucifer really wants, other than taking over hell?" Sam wondered, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"Honestly? I don't have a damn clue."

o

They waited in the dressing room for at least an hour and when the show was over, they stood expecting him to show any minute. When the minutes dragged on, Sam opened the door and flagged one of the backstage crew down.

"Do you have any idea where Mr. Vincente is?" He asked calmly.

The young man shrugged, shaking his head. "No, he left immediately after the concert ended. Got in the limo and drove off. He didn't even come back to his room and gather his things."

"Oh." Sam frowned, knowing that he must've seen or sensed them and took off. Typical.

"I'll have to gather his stuff and send it to him later." The man continued, mostly speaking to himself by this point. "Alright, well, I'll have to ask you two to leave now. We're trying to clear out."

"Sure, no problem." Sam turned to Dean, gesturing for him to come over. They began walking outside before he added, "Looks like he took off."

"Figures."

"You don't seem that upset."

"All he's doing so far is making music and acting wild. I mean, is it so bad if he takes over hell too? Crowley will get over it."

"C'mon, Dean. You and I both know you want to stop him too."

"I used to, but I feel…weird." He finally admitted, stopping him by grabbing his sleeve and turning to him. "Remember when Lucifer said I'd be too preoccupied to kill him?"

"Yeah…"

"I think he's right, Sam. I don't feel like myself anymore."

"Sick?"

"No…different." He looked frustrated, unable to explain it in words. "Anyway, it's not important. I know you and Cas will stop him. Crowley too. I'm not worried. You three are more than capable."

"Dean?"

"I gotta go now."

"Wait, hold on—!"

He smirked. "No, I meant the bathroom."

"O-Oh!"

o

When he came out, Sam was waiting for him near the impala. Dean looked at him strangely and walked around to the driver's side.

"I'm leaving by myself, Sam. You're not going with me."

"That so?" He asked, getting into the passenger seat anyway. "C'mon, let's go."

Dean sucked in a breath, glaring at him. "Seriously? Really? Okay, then." He slipped into the driver's seat, turning the car on and blasting the radio loudly just like Sam hated.

He felt like he was being a little childish, so eventually he turned it low once they were on the highway. "Where'd Cas go?" Dean suddenly wondered.

"He's probably still with Crowley. They're working together more now, remember?" Sam reminded him.

"Right."

Only an hour later, Dean pulled over. Sam looked at him funny, also getting out as they made a pit stop. "And you tell me I have a small bladder."

"Shut up."

Once they were both back inside, Dean longingly looked at the burger joint before sighing heavily. He knew no matter how badly he wanted it, he was too sick to enjoy it.

"I gotta ask again, are you okay?" Sam glanced at him.

"Yeah, sure."

"You're nauseous, tired, you're going more often…it's like—!"

"Don't say it or I will actually murder you."

Sam shook his head. "I wouldn't say something so ridiculous. It's pretty obvious men can't have kids. I was gonna say it sounds like it could be an infection or diabetes."

"Diabetes?"

"Well, yeah. A lot of times the symptoms appear so slowly, by the time you realize you have it there's nothing you can do but take medication for it. Just google it, you'll see." Sam explained.

"I'm not the researching type, that's more of your thing."

"Just do it." Sam sounded exasperated.

Dean found it easily on his phone, skimming through the page. His face paled as he realized a lot of his recent symptoms matched it correctly. Except for one thing.

"It says that it happens gradually usually, but this didn't start happening until like two weeks ago. It wasn't long after we…" Dean's face grew hot and they were both very silent before he continued, "Did you give me something, Sam?"

"Whoa! Are you actually accusing me of having a disease?"

He scoffed, folding his arms. "Considering you've slept with demons, werewolves, and god knows what else…maybe! Yes!"

Sam leaned back in his seat, biting his cheek to keep from blowing up angrily at him. Dean was sick and needed him, this wasn't the time for arguments.

"I'm clean." He said evenly. "I'm sure of that."

"Well, I guess all I can do is see a doctor." He started laughing a few moments later, looking highly amused. "As if I'd do that, though."

"So, you're just gonna ride it out?"

"If it doesn't go away in like a month or something, I'll see somebody. Would that please you?" He looked at him pointedly, frowning deeply.

"…yes."

"Cool, so it's all good."

"Yep."

"Ah man, I really want that burger though."

"Not a good idea."

"Son of a bitch." He muttered to himself, almost compelled to rest his forehead on the wheel.


	7. Chapter 7

It took them a few days to get back to the bunker. During that time, Dean seemed a little better. Sam couldn't tell if it was because he actually felt better or if he was trying his hardest to man up and save face as to not appear sickly anymore.

As they pulled into the garage, Dean turned the car off and turned to him. It was too quiet for several moments, neither one moving to get out. It seemed surreal suddenly to be back together now that they were home.

"If you want me to go, I will." Sam said quietly.

"Nah, it's fine. You're a grown man, you can do what you want." Dean replied.

Sam noticed that was one of the few times he treated him like an equal, rather than his little brother who needed protection.

"True, but I don't want to make things harder or more awkward for you. I'm trying to be nice here."

"And I appreciate it, but this is your home too." Dean told him, something in his tone making the younger man feel better, "Also, I don't mind you staying. I'm glad you're back."

Sam smiled warmly.

Dean sighed a little. "Huh, it's funny. I didn't mind that corny moment just now."

The younger man leaned over slowly, eyeing him first to make sure it was okay. Dean didn't move, closing his eyes when he felt lips brush against his own gently. The kiss deepened and after a few heated moments, they pulled away panting.

Dean glanced at the backseat, then at him. "We could…"

"You're actually okay with this still?"

"I don't know." He replied honestly. "But you're ruining the moment with all this talking."

Sam kissed him instead and soon they found themselves in the backseat of the car. The younger man nipped at his neck, suckling the sensitive flesh before gazing up at him.

"Car's definitely off?"

"Don't worry, we won't die of carbon monoxide poisoning." Dean told him. "I'm not that dumb."

"I know, it's just…that would be a crappy way to go."

"Considering…" Dean paused to kiss him again, "how many times we've died and came back, that would be the stupidest, most careless way to go."

"Imagine the headline…" Sam groaned, trying not to think about it.

Dean couldn't help the genuine laugh that escaped him, leaning back as he couldn't stop. Sam only looked at him like he'd lost it, smirking a little.

"It's not that funny."

"Sorry, I just really needed that laugh." Dean smiled widely and Sam was taken aback for a minute. His brother rarely smiled that genuinely, he almost looked like a different person. He looked gorgeous, and Sam wished he could make him smile like that more often. It wouldn't happen though.

"Stop looking at me like that, it's like you're trying to ruin the moment." He glowered suddenly, frowning at him. His face was hot from embarrassment. He'd never seen Sam looked at him with that much adoration before and it made him uncomfortable. Part of him didn't feel deserving of it.

Sam responded by grabbing his hips and forcing his jeans down. Dean was taken aback for a moment, unused to being manhandled in this way, but soon arousal took its place and he removed them along with his underwear. The younger man seemed to find the rest of the material offensive, lifting his shirt enough to kiss at his collarbones, moving to down to a sensitive nipple. He took one into his mouth, before moving to the other slowly making the other moan.

He wanted to take his time exploring Dean's body this time, feeling suddenly like this could be the last time. Things like this didn't usually last very long. Anyone who knew anything about forbidden romances, knew that in every story, they always ended poorly. So for now, Sam focused on pleasing him, enjoying every moment.

His eyes focused on another pair so different from his. They were profoundly green and utterly captivating. Sam knew this sounded weird and Dean hated to hear it, but he really was beautiful. Sharp cheekbones, full lips, and a strong jawline. His softer features were mixed perfectly with masculine ones, creating a sort of androgyny one didn't see often.

He pressed another kiss to his lips, distracting him as he hurriedly unzipped, wanting him now. Dean seemed to sense his urgency, responding by moving so Sam could easily press a finger into his entrance, preparing him as gently as was possible. The older man squirmed from discomfort, rolling his head back slightly as he finger-fucked him slightly harder, adding another finger and watching his reaction. Dean seemed to enjoy it for awhile, until suddenly he pushed him against the backseat and straddled his waist so that he could fully sit in his lap.

"Well?" He smirked.

Sam was too aroused to reply, he just grabbed his hips again, this time aligning his cock and entering him in one slow thrust. It was highly uncomfortable for a moment. Dean's chest constricted at the sensation of being stretched so much, holding onto Sam's thighs subconsciously. He slowly lifted himself up, lowering back down with a loud groan.

Sam could sense he wasn't feeling pleasure yet in this position. "Do you want me to stop, cause—?"

"No, don't stop." He murmured.

The younger man swallowed thickly, bucking his hips a little. Dean grabbed onto his shoulders instead, slowly riding him as he built up a rhythm. Their pants and gasps of pleasure were the only sound that could be heard in the small space.

Dean moaned more loudly than he meant to when he began pounding into him at just the right angle. It hit a sensitive spot and it made him grind harder on his cock, his hips rolling as he felt his orgasm almost take over. He was so close. The older man closed his eyes, his head tilting upward as he clenched his muscles, trying to hold onto the pleasure just a bit longer. Sam gripped his hips more tightly, leaning forward to take a nipple into his mouth again, his tongue dragging teasingly slow.

"Right there, right there…shi-!" Dean found himself murmuring subconsciously, only half aware of what he was saying as he began stroking his own cock as he released hard onto their stomachs.

Sam gasped, pausing as his muscles contracted around him. He came moments later, still panting as he pulled him down to his chest. Dean laid onto him, eyes half-lidded as he relished the afterglow. It was quiet for a few minutes, before they eventually parted.

The next words were loud in the deafening silence. They made perfect sense.

"You know we can't do this anymore, right?" The older hunter asked.

Sam looked away, nodding. The last time he'd seen him look this upset, was when he couldn't save that doomed submarine that contained the hand of god. He'd looked so dejected, and presently he looked more dejected if possible.

"I know. Mo—!"

"Don't mention her out loud, it just makes it weirder Sam." Dean sighed, "Or dad for that matter, but then again he got us into this."

His brother scoffed, making him glare over at him.

"You sound like me fifteen years ago." Sam realized. "I hated him back then, for taking away our chances to live a normal life. And now you're sounding like me, and I'm starting to think more like you."

"Because you've been around me for too long, I've told you this before." Dean paused, oddly emotional. He'd cried before a few times in the past and felt it happening again to his dismay. "I want you to leave tomorrow, Sam. I don't care where you go, I just want you to be happy."

Sam didn't reply, only staring unseeingly at the floor with a blank expression, unable to meet his gaze.

Grabbing his clothes, Dean put his underwear and jeans on hastily as though someone else would show up any minute.

Somehow, his intuition was correct.

o

They walked into the bunker which was seemingly empty, until they saw Cas coming down the stairs. He looked grim-faced as usual, but there was something in his eyes that told them silently that there was a problem.

"I didn't realize you two had come back. I was here studying." Cas explained, pulling out a chair and dropping another book onto the table.

"Studying…?" Dean gestured for him to elaborate.

"Oh. To find a spell. To summon Lucifer." He said plainly, as though it were perfectly normal. "Why?"

Sam and Dean exchanged a weird look, before giving him a look too. "Cas, that's not necessary. He's not doing anything."

"Yeah, and we could care less about Crowley losing to him." Dean added gruffly, though for some odd reason his stomach twisted as though he subconsciously disagreed with his own words. Maybe he did care, a little.

"You're wrong. He had plans to kill those people at that concert, when we were in California." Cas told them. "Crowley has let me know that he has plans to kill others. In fact, he probably has by now."

"To just kill them for no reason? There's a reason, right?" Sam asked, looking confused. Even Dean was giving him a perplexed stare.

Cas opened the book, flipping to the page he was looking for. "That's what we want to know. He's trying to hide from me, but I'll summon him."

"Can you?" Dean asked.

"I'm an angel, he's an archangel technically. I suppose it should be easy."

"But you can't just track his location? Angel radio?" Dean placed his hands on his hips.

"He's hidden from my sight, so to speak." Cas said quietly, gathering the necessary items quickly.

It didn't take the angel long to place everything down and recite the summoning that would bring him to the bunker. As the last word left his lips, Cas stepped back as did the brothers when his form appeared in front of them.

It was a rather horrid sight—it seemed his new vessel could barely contain him much longer. His skin was rotting, the flesh barely clinging to his bones. Reddened eyes glared out at them, a frown twisting his already gruesome features. Once he eyed Castiel, he scoffed.

"What could you possibly want from me now?" He seemed tired—defeated, if they didn't know better.

"Crowley says you've killed Vince's manager, his bandmates, and others still?" It was more of a statement, really. He knew it was true, but wanted to hear the archangel admit it aloud.

Lucifer smirked. "Yeah, I did. They were annoying nuisances. I'm doing what I want now, it's not like anything really matters at this point."

"What do you mean by that?" Cas tried not to look alarmed, as did the other two.

"God and Amara left me, abandoned me. Just took off together and didn't even bother to come back to see me. We were supposed to have a fresh start. Otherwise, what was that useless apology for? Hm?" He laughed, it sounded maniacal. "Whatever. You three don't care and it's really none of your damn business."

"You can't kill people just for fun." Dean suddenly interjected, glaring at him.

Lucifer turned to him. "I can, actually. It's so easy. I could snap all of your necks right now, just like that but I'm afraid I've used up too much power in this vessel already…" He examined the skin that was darkening and flaking away by the minute. "I'm going back to L.A. If you care to try to kill me, I'll be there for now."

He vanished and they assumed his vessel would die shortly after once he ejected himself. Sam frowned deeply, shaking his head as he sat down.

"He's killed a man who meant a lot to so many people." He realized. "Lucifer's going too far, even for him."

"We'll stop him." Dean murmured gruffly, suddenly back in the game. He hated seeing his brother sad, he had ever since they were younger, when John used to leave them behind for days on end without saying anything. He was always there to comfort him, it wasn't different now.

"Dean, you don't get it." Sam said, looking to Cas also. "You guys both don't. He's winning and we're just losing slowly. He's gonna do whatever he wants now that he's freed from the cage. What can we really do? He's Lucifer."

"We're going to win this, Sam. We always do. I just gotta…think for a minute. Let's form a plan." Dean suggested, folding his arms.

"It's all we can do." Cas agreed, nodding.

"I don't know guys, we may not win this fight." Sam disagreed.

"Enough doom and gloom. Can we just order some freakin' pizza? I'm starving." Dean exclaimed, sighing exasperatedly.

"What's gotten into you?" Sam wondered, raising a brow. "Plus, you're still sick. What if you throw up again? Just have some rice or soup."

"Ha, you're funny." He patted his shoulder, smiling. "I'm gonna get some pizza."

"He's not sick." Cas commented, glancing between them. "I can tell."

"Then…what's with his symptoms?" Sam questioned.

Cas's eyes narrowed. "When you two visited Hawaii, did you see or do anything unusual?"

"I bumped my head pretty damn hard. That sucked." Dean remembered, before casually strolling into the kitchen to grab a beer. He needed a drink.

Sam gasped as something came to him. "He touched a statue, but it looked harmless."

"I suppose you don't have a picture."

"No, but I do have Leilani's number. Maybe she knows something about it?" Sam shrugged, somehow doubting that but it was their only shot besides research.

Cas brought him his laptop, sliding it in front of him and sat down in the chair next to him. Sam quickly looked up anything related to ancient Hawaii—the traditions, the statues, the buildings.

"Look. That looks like it sort of." Sam zoomed in on the picture. "The statue of…fertility? So it's like a god statue?"

"Those were quite common in the past." Cas explained. "People used to pray to gods for food, shelter, protection, and even for children. To bear them more quickly and easily, that is. It's just that humans used to die so often in the past, replacing people was very important."

"Right, because people used to pass away from things that could be cured now?"

"Exactly. If someone had six children, perhaps only four would survive to adulthood. Maybe less."

"Okay, so the fertility goddess helps people get…" Sam's eyes widened, his mouth opening as he stared into space suddenly, sheer horror written all over his face.

"Pregnant." Cas finished for him, unaware of how much he didn't want to hear that word.

"But it says here it only worked for women, obviously. It wouldn't affect a man." Sam said evenly.

"A man wouldn't have cause to touch it, so perhaps one had never touched or prayed to such a being." Cas argued. "Think about it, Sam. Did he touch it accidentally?"

"Sort of, he was out of it. Concussion." Sam said, sighing heavily. "If this is true, if he's really with child, then this is beyond horrible, like the worst thing that could ever happen to us."

Castiel looked at the human next to him sharply. "A child is a blessing."

"For normal couples, normal families. Not for two messed up, male hunters and you know that!" Sam exclaimed, trying not to panic. Oxygen felt sparse at the moment, his lungs tightening.

"Maybe so, but it is still an innocent!" He shot back.

"Why are you guys yelling in there?!" Dean shouted back, peering into the room with a beer in hand. "Shut up!"

"You shut up!" Sam blinked suddenly, calming down instantly as he realized his brother could possibly be carrying something inside him, and was drinking alcohol at that.

"Okay, sorry. Calm down, I was kinda joking." Dean was unnerved—his younger brother didn't normally get mad back at him. Sam's calm demeanor was one of the things he liked about him. He was always calmer, more rational, and put up with his goofy antics…well, mostly. They'd had pretty bad arguments in the past, a couple causing them to break apart for awhile. In any case, he was used to being the one doing the snapping and yelling.

"No, I'm sorry…it's just, we're arguing about…what kind of pizza to order?"

"One, you're a horrible liar. Two, let's just get pepperoni. Sounds good?"

They nodded and watched as he went back into the kitchen, giving them both an odd look. Once he was gone again, Sam turned to Castiel.

"There's got to be something you can do." He said lowly.

"To what?"

"Get rid of it before he notices, if anything's there at all anyway."

"How dare you ask me to do that. I heal things, I do not take away." Cas looked offended for once, looking up at him with stern eyes. "I understand you're afraid the child is…not healthy because of your relation. It's probably not, but I could heal it."

"I don't want you to. It's too much, and I know Dean will freak out. He doesn't need this stress." Sam said.

"Then ask someone else. I won't be the one to do that, I'm sorry. An innocent is still an innocent in my eyes."

"Cas—!"

"You need to tell Dean and let him make his own decision. I know you're trying to help him, but he deserves to know what's happening to his own body." Castiel said seriously, before disappearing.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam looked slightly ashamed of himself as he sat there. Honestly, the idea of a baby didn't appeal to him. He'd gotten used to it just being them. Besides, they weren't fit to raise a child. But Cas was right, it was rude of him to decide to abort it before Dean ever knew of its existence.

He blinked several times, trying to focus on ordering pizza. Once he placed the order, his brother walked languidly into the room sipping on his drink. Setting the can down, he sat next to him. Dean peered at the screen and Sam hastily closed his laptop.

"That looked like stuff about Hawaii. You wanna go back already?"

"Dean, there's something wrong with you. I know you're aware of that."

"I'll say. I feel like crap still. I'm not throwing up anymore, but I'm so damn nauseous. I'm still gonna destroy that pizza though."

Sam took in a deep breath. "That statue you touched was the goddess of fertility."

"Sexy."

"Take this seriously, please." Sam said shortly, before continuing, "It's very powerful, apparently. It can help barren and non-barren women get pregnant quickly."

"How's that possible if she's barren though? And what the hell does that have to do with me?"

"Dean…" Sam looked at him like he shouldn't have to explain, like he was smart enough to figure it out on his own. Which he was.

It took the older hunter a moment, causing him to frown. "Are you suggesting I'm knocked up with your giant kid?"

"Hey! Whoa. You know, there's people taller than me."

"Yeah, basketball players."

"Okay, we're getting off track. This is serious."

"No, it's not. I don't believe you." Dean said simply, finishing his beer. "You're just upset and coming up with a crazy story because I asked you to leave. But I asked you for your benefit, Sammy. I want you to have everything you've always wanted. You can't have that with me."

"Dean, I do have everything I want here. I thought that was obvious." Sam replied. "If I really hated being here, I'd be gone. Long gone by this point."

"Fine, I guess I believe you." Dean replied. "Just don't bring up that weird ass theory again. Can you imagine a guy being knocked up, much less me? Kinda hilarious though…"

"It's not a theory. It's reality." Sam countered.

"Oh, god, he's lost it." Dean muttered into his can, crushing it and tossing it into the trash bin.

"Cas would tell you the same thing. He can sense what's happened to you."

Dean became very quiet—Castiel wasn't known for lying. He was too socially awkward to pull it off well most times. He was also helpful and had been there all these years. He trusted Cas, maybe more than Sam.

"You're lying." Dean sounded different. Angry, perhaps.

"He's not though. I can call for him, he would agree with me." Sam told him, growing uncomfortable at his eerily silent reaction. It was unlike the normally talkative man to shut down, unless he was pissed.

"Shit." Dean rubbed his forehead. "Well, I can't deny my symptoms are there. I still can't believe it though."

"I would ask you to take a test, but it wouldn't do much good. You're too stubborn."

"I'll take it anyway. If it'll get you to shut up about it." Dean shook his head. "If it's positive, I'll summon Rowena. She'll take care of it. I'm sure she has a spell we can use."

"You want her to know?"

"It's better than going to a doctor and the world finding out a man is…" Dean couldn't even finish his sentence. "Anyway, you want me to grab the pizza?"

"No, I'll go pick it up and get the tests. See you." Sam quickly went up the stairs, shutting the door behind him loudly.

Dean stood there, feeling more conflicted than he had ever had in a long time.

o

Chewing on a slice of pizza, Dean mostly ignored everything Sam was saying to him. It felt so good to finally be able to eat something without barfing. Cheese agreed with him for some reason and he found himself craving it. He refused to think of it as a craving though. It was too early in to be one, he figured.

Not to mention, even if he was with child, there was no way he would consider himself pregnant. It was too weird.

"Dean? Hey! Are you listening?"

"Unfortunately." Well, he was listening now.

"Not funny. You need to take one soon." Sam placed two boxes near him.

"Damn, I'm not even done yet. Besides, I'm watching this." His eyes turned to the show playing on his phone, chuckling at a particularly amusing part.

Sam leaned back in his chair, eyeing the pizza box. "Of all the things that's happened to us, this is the weirdest."

"You're telling me."

o

After he was done with his food, Dean locked the bathroom door once he was inside. His heart was pounding. Suddenly, his body felt light as he opened the package up. Taking out the stick, he turned it every which way with a wary expression.

"This is stupid. This can't be real." He mumbled, sighing.

A few minutes later, he sat on the toilet staring at the test with wide eyes. His timer was on for about five minutes, by which time he'd know. Once the alarm rang, his chest seized a little. Dean jumped when a loud knock sounded.

"What, Sam?" He griped.

"Are you okay?"

"Hang on a sec." Dean called, before picking up the test slowly. His eyes glanced over it, at the two pink lines that signified there was in fact something there. "Holy shit."

Opening the door, he silently went to grab the other test and didn't bother locking the door this time. Sam patiently waited as he used the other test, browsing the web idly. Dean came out about ten minutes later looking very pale.

"They're both positive." He murmured faintly, like he wasn't quite all there.

"It's okay, we'll take care of it." Sam assured him.

"If you mean get rid of it, then yes. We don't have a choice." Dean agreed.

"I'll summon her." Sam told him.

Dean sat down looking like he was in a trance. His hand dropped to his stomach. "The other test told me I was only one to two weeks along, on the screen."

"Makes sense. It hasn't been that long since the first time. Maybe almost a month." Sam figured. "It takes a little time to actually conceive."

"Wow, we're officially messed up. It's one thing for us to be…but to bring a child into it? We can't do that."

"We won't. It's going to be alright." Sam said as calmly as possible. He chanted the incantation that hopefully would bring Rowena to them. If not, they'd have to go through Crowley.

The redheaded woman appeared before them, smirking widely. "Boys."

"Rowena, we need your help." Sam cut straight to the chase.

She blinked. "And why would I do that? Do I look like your little angel friend or my daft son?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Listen, you've helped us before—!"

"Because ye forced me." Rowena's chin lifted haughtily. "As I recall, I was in chains. All to translate the bloody book of the damned."

"Speaking of which, you have that knowledge." Sam said. "Look, we just need a quick favor. We'll do something for you in return."

She grew intrigued. "No imprisonment? Why, I'm charmed."

Dean sighed loudly. "Forget it, Sam. We'll find another way."

Her eyes flickered to him. "To do what? Not that I care."

"I'm…" His face grew warm as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "With child."

She paused, looking a little lost for a moment before her eyes widened. "You can't be serious."

When they looked at her with no further comments, she shook her head. "It's not possible."

"Apparently it is when you incur the power of a goddess of fertility." Sam explained.

Rowena seemed to relax and her expression showed a bit of understanding. "I see. That explains it. So you two…? And now….? Oh, dear."

"We know. We're sick, twisted, wrong. Can you help or not?" Dean asked.

"I can. But I won't."

"Why not?" Sam asked.

Rowena simply shrugged a bit. "Honestly, I believe everything happens for a reason. As much as I loathe my son, I don't think I would have ridded of him. I birthed him, however unpleasant. And back in those days, we didn't have epidurals mind you."

"Wait a second, are you saying you don't believe in abortion?" Sam's brow rose.

"Of course not."

"We get that, okay? But you have to know that this kid isn't healthy. It can't be born." Dean sounded a little more frantic, desperate perhaps. "C'mon, Rowena. Anything you want in return."

"I require nothing, I have the things I want." She said quietly. "I suppose I'll help. Only this once."

"Thank you." Sam breathed and the other looked relieved himself.

Her eyes narrowed as she walked up to Dean. Placing a hand on his relatively flat stomach, her brows furrowed as she felt for the child's aura. It was there, but she realized something.

"I can't. All children conceived through this goddess are protected. My spells wouldn't work here."

"There's got to be something you can do." Dean said gruffly.

"If it means anything to ye, it's healthy." She added.

"How the hell is that possible?" He snapped.

"Don't ask me, ask the goddess who caused this to happen to ye."

Dean rolled his eyes again. "Even so, I don't want to have it."

Rowena eyed him with a look he didn't care for. It almost seemed too satisfied, bordering on evil. "I suppose a man wouldn't want to. After all, it's we women who carry such a burden. I don't even know if a man could handle it."

Sam groaned. Her words would only register as a challenge to his brother, and Dean Winchester loved a challenge.

"Excuse me? I mean, it's not gonna be fun, but I think I could handle it. Well, probably." He muttered.

"Take it from me, it's not something you'd want to go through." Rowena said, serious again. "I would help ye if I could. The child is very much protected though."

Dean felt sick again, a sinking feeling forming in his stomach. "So, I'm gonna have to go through with it?"

She nodded.

"Shit."

"Language."

Dean felt dizzy suddenly and sat down on a nearby chair. He ran a hand through short, spiked locks. He looked absolutely defeated and Sam's heart clenched at the sight.

"We'll figure something out soon." He promised him.

Dean dragged a hand down his face, letting it plop onto his lap. His eyes stared ahead before he glanced over at them.

"You know what? It's okay. Maybe…we could do this." He murmured.

"Whoa, you can't just change your tune."

"Why not? He's hormonal now." Rowena quipped, raising a brow.

"Shut up, witch." He glared at her, but she only smirked in return.

"This is a big decision." Sam continued. "It's gonna change our lives completely."

"Well, nothing is normal for us. Our only other option is to see a doctor about an abortion, but then we'd be all over the media. We'd be targets for hatred."

Sam swallowed hard, knowing he was right. "Still, if you don't wanna have this baby, you deserve the option. There's got to be at least one doctor who could perform it discreetly."

"Maybe. There's doctors who are aware of hunters…" Dean trailed off, humming thoughtfully. "They might be able to help, but they're rare."

"We'll find one."

"Okay, well, I've had quite enough of hearing you two talk. Goodbye." Within moments, she disappeared.

"Isn't it kinda weird that we've gotten so used to people appearing and vanishing out of thin air?" Dean sounded amused.

"Yeah…well, I'm gonna find out the names of any doctors associated with hunters. Okay?"

"Thank you."

"You know, you're handling this surprisingly well. Much better than me." Sam said, raising a brow.

"Honestly, I still haven't fully processed this. I'm having a hard time believing this." Dean admitted. He didn't really feel pregnant, aside from the nausea and fatigue. And he wasn't showing yet either. It was hard to grasp that there was a tiny life growing within him. Somehow, his body was supporting this pregnancy.

"Me either." Sam replied.


	9. Chapter 9

It took a day or so, but Sam found the number of a woman who apparently knew hunters. She was a midwife, not a doctor. It was better than nothing at this point.

She knocked at their door. Sam opened it for her, letting her come inside. "Thanks for flying out on such short notice. You're based in Nevada, right?"

"Vegas." She nodded.

"I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem. This case is very unusual."

"Well, it's nice to meet you."

"You too, Sam." Emma smiled.

She walked down the stairs and blushed when she saw Dean. Sam recognized the look in her eyes—many women stared at him like that. He'd always been more popular amongst women. He had been the ladies' man in the past, while he'd been a little more reserved (with the exception of him having no soul years back).

"H-Hello." Her face grew more red when he smiled. Berating herself mentally for not being more professional, she composed herself. "I'm Emma Martin, it's nice to meet you Dean."

"Pleasure's all mine." He gestured for them to sit.

"So, I hear you want an abortion performed."

"You heard right."

She frowned. "I can recommend doctors. It's possible surgically, but it would be dangerous for you. It's major surgery."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do." Sam glanced at him, and then settled his gaze on her. "It would be like a c-section?"

"Correct."

Dean chewed on his lip before sighing. "So it'd actually be safer to go through with it?"

"The baby's so small now, locating it and removing it in such a way would pose a threat. At least if it were full term, delivering it via c-section would be slightly less risky."

"Slightly." Sam repeated with a frown. It was beginning to dawn on them both how dangerous this pregnancy was.

"A man's body was not made to carry children." Emma continued as though reading their minds. "I'm not sure if you could even carry it to term or how it'd affect your organs."

"Huh?" He looked horrified.

"In women, organs tend to be shifted upwards as the uterus expands. Given you're male, I'd have to run an ultrasound to see where the baby even attached or if there's a uterus at all."

"Oh, god…" Dean muttered.

"Typically, I'd wait to do an ultrasound at eight weeks. But I might have to push it back to four. Do you know how far along you are roughly?"

"By now, maybe two weeks. That's it."

Emma stood up. "Then I'll return in a few more weeks. If anything happens, I'd go to the emergency room. No reason to risk your life just to keep this secret."

"You could stay in the bunker, we have plenty of room." Sam told her in a friendly tone.

"That's alright, I don't wanna impose. I have family out here, actually. I can stay with them for most of this pregnancy." She explained. "Of course, I obviously won't tell them that's why I'm here."

"Oh…well, if you change your mind, we have more than enough bedrooms."

"Thank you, really. I'll be seeing you soon, then."

As soon as she left, Sam turned to Dean, cupping his face in both hands. Normally, he would've tossed his hands off him and cracked some joke about him being sentimental. Instead, he looked down at the floor unseeingly, avoiding Sam's gaze.

"It's going to be okay." He pressed a kiss to his lips, but Dean didn't respond back to his touch.

"We're going to have a kid." The older hunter muttered disbelievingly. "After all the hunting trips, the monsters, the demons, we end up having a family in the weirdest way possible. And honestly, this freaks me out more."

"Me too, but at least we're together in this. I'm not leaving you alone to deal with this by yourself." Sam promised.

"You're too nice, Sam." That gruff, deep voice didn't match the beautiful face that reddened as tears finally trailed down from his eyes.

"Eh, not really. I'm just trying keep a level head in all this." Sam replied. "This is crazy, but I want to help. Because I do love you."

"Corny bastard." Dean tried to smile through his tears, but it was easier said than done. "I love you too."

o

About three weeks later, Emma returned to perform an ultrasound. By that time, the two had seemed to accept that carrying the child to term was less risky than trying to cut him open and locate the tiny being through a caesarean section. Needless to say, he wouldn't be able to have an abortion in the manner women did, as he didn't have the proper equipment.

Dean wasn't happy though about being pregnant. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be much of a choice. It was hard to swallow, but he tried to tolerate it at the very least. There was nothing else left to do.

They walked into a clinic about thirty minutes away, where Emma and the ultrasound tech were waiting for them. It was a private birthing center. It encouraged natural births and things of that nature, unlike some hospitals.

"I hate this place." He muttered honestly, side-eyeing all the posters of women and babies that hung from the lobby's walls.

"I can't say I like it either."

A few women were there, looking at them strangely. The receptionist glanced up, and remembered Emma had informed them of a 'special' case. Blushing, she stood and had them sign in, not once taking her eyes off of them.

"She'll see you now."

They went into a small room where the tech and Emma were waiting for them. Dean looked nervous suddenly, feeling like the walls were closing in on him. Sam watched as he laid down, staring over at the other women they hadn't met yet.

"I'm Julia." She shook both their hands. "Emma's filled me in. Also, don't worry, I'll be quick. Is your bladder full?"

He only nodded, aware already thanks to Emma that it was necessary for these exams.

Dean unbuttoned his jeans when asked, flinching when he felt cold gel. The screen was turned on and a transducer pressed into his abdomen, the wand moving back and forth to get a clear view. Finally, she paused and moved it more slowly, enlarging something on the screen.

Sam waited with bated breath, glancing between the screen and his stomach. He could hardly take the silence anymore.

"So, what's going on? Is it okay?"

"Sam, relax." Dean sounded irritated.

"Everything's fine, actually." Julia sounded surprised herself. "There it is, attached near the abdominal wall. It shouldn't affect his organs too much as it grows, there seems to be room there."

"Is there a…a…" Sam couldn't even finish his sentence, so he opted for something vague. "Somewhere for it to grow properly?"

"Uterus? Yes, a temporary one that has attached right here." She pointed to the screen.

Dean saw it then, the tiny being curled in fetal position. His chest seized as he stared at it, unable to believe it was real even though he was looking right at it. Sam felt the same way, blinking in amazement at the screen.

Soon, it was turned off and Julia washed her hands. "The baby is right on track for growth and looks good for now."

Dean felt oddly relieved. "Thanks."

"No problem."

o

Sam glanced at him when they were leaving, noticing how his brother looked through the sonograms. He stopped in the hallway, Dean pausing too.

"Now that you know where it's growing, do you still wanna—?"

"No, I don't want to get rid of it." Dean said resolutely. "I thought I did, but seeing it on the screen, I dunno…it made it seem real or something. The way it was conceived was horrible, but it's still a human being."

"Dean…"

"I can't do it. I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize to me. I'm not the one carrying it. This is your decision."

"Thank you." Dean smiled. "Anyway, I'm hungry. Think we could get some grilled cheese sandwiches?"

"What's with you and cheese lately? It's disturbing."

"It ain't me, it's the kid. It wants what it wants."

o

The next few months went by too slowly. There was no noticeable sign of pregnancy until his fifth month. The toned abs finally gave way to what appeared to be a small bump. It was surprising to Sam how much he enjoyed the changes in the older man's body. Rather than looking like he enjoyed his sweets too often, it was actually sort of taut and rested in his lower abdomen, jutting out from his hips firmly.

With a shirt on though, it did just appear like a bit of weight gain. In a couple more months though, it would be obvious even with clothing on that he was very expectant. They wouldn't be able to go into the public eye as often towards the end of the pregnancy.

"Why do you keep looking at me? I know I'm getting fat." Dean muttered.

Sam heavily rolled his eyes, smirking at him. "You're not, relax. And even if you were, I'm not that shallow."

Dean wanted to come up with a smartass comeback to that, but couldn't. Instead, he glanced over at him. "How's your new job?"

Sam had gotten a job as a communication aide for a legislative office nearby. With his experience at Stanford and pre-law degree, it had impressed them to say the very least.

"Entirely different from hunting. I'm only doing it part time though, I still want to take on cases."

"I wish I could, but I guess I can't right now huh?"

"No way." Sam daringly placed a hand on the other's belly.

"Fine."

Dean kissed him suddenly, pulling his collar down so that he could kiss him more deeply. Sam pulled away looking a bit flustered, grinning a little. The older man silently pulled him into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

"Dean—!"

"Don't talk." He undressed, stepping into the shower. "Come on."

Sam slid the shower door shut once he was undressed, pressing Dean against the wall gently so as not to hurt the baby. He washed him up, trailing appreciative hands down his body. The hunter turned and did the same, before kneeling to take his cock into his mouth. Sam groaned, fisting his hands into short hair, his head falling back as he sucked him. Dean's tongue trailed down his member teasingly, bright green eyes flickering to stare at him. That, combined with the cheeky smirk he gave him was almost enough to make him come right then. Dean continued sucking him, taking his time and bringing him close to orgasm, only to pull away and lick the head. It drove Sam crazy and finally he grabbed him to pull him close, turning him to face the wall again as hot water splashed over their naked bodies.

They joined quickly, not drawing it out. The only noises audible was the running water and heavy panting as Sam thrust into him unabashedly, making Dean dig his nails into the tiled wall for leverage.

He teased him as well—thrusting hard and hitting his prostate at just the right angle, before slowing down and pulling out to the tip, only to enter him just as slow. It made Dean groan, his cock throbbing now for some release.

"S-Sam..." He let out a groan, closing his eyes. "Fuck, I'm close."

Sam angled his thrusts deeper, pleased at the loud moans he heard. Dean stroked himself as he came suddenly, his knees buckling from the intensity. Sam stilled, coming moments later as he panted heavily. He pulled out, turning Dean around. The younger hunter slicked the other's hair back and gazed at him lovingly.

Dean shut the water off, slipping out and handing him a towel. Sam took it, covering up as did his brother.

"Man, I'm so tired all of a sudden." The older man blinked sleepily, not enjoying how much energy this kid was sucking from him. He was tired all the time to be honest.

"Get some rest. I'll bring you some dinner later." Sam told him, kissing the top of his head affectionately.

Dean looked at him after they ate dinner. Not hunting was becoming boring as hell. There were only so many websites he could browse and so much he could cook before he felt restless again. He wanted the baby to arrive sooner, but figured he'd just have to be patient.

"What do you wanna do now?"

"Talk to you," Sam said, shrugging. "I dunno."

Dean blinked. "You're being weird again, aren't you? You know I hate long conversations."

"Yeah, I am." Sam said.

They watched all three _Rush Hour_ movies back to back on the DVD player, sitting on the bed together with microwave popcorn and assorted crap Dean had bought from the gas station. Sam hadn't realized that Dean had an appreciation for Jackie Chan that bordered on the ridiculous.

"You wanna do stunts like that, don't you?" Sam glanced at him with mirth gleaming in his eyes.

"Yeah. Fireman, cop, and stuntman, those were my top three when I was a kid."

"So, like, saving the world from evil all the time wasn't enough?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shaddap."

"I've seen you do crazier stuff than Jackie Chan," Sam said. "And he practiced all this stuff, over and over, and got to choreograph it. You just do stuff off the top of your head."

Dean quit chewing a mouthful of popcorn and shifted to look at him full on. "You okay?"

"What, I'm trying to tell you how it is." Sam said.

"You must've bumped your head in the shower." Dean said, turning back to the movie. But he looked absurdly pleased.

Jackie Chan was kung-fuing the hell out of a bunch of bad guys on a yacht. Chris Tucker was getting his ass kicked.

Pretty good way to spend a night.


	10. Chapter 10

Word had finally traveled to Crowley about their child. Rowena had finally told him, it seemed. As Sam and Dean were eating dinner peacefully, watching shows on the internet, the older man's phone began ringing.

The man glanced at the nickname '666' and answered it. "Crowley?"

"Dean. I've heard some interesting news."

The hunter felt blood drain from his face. "Laugh all you want. Or better yet, don't call or see me again. I'm sure you think we're disgusting since even demons probably have standards."

"You're naïve. I'm a demon, I could care less." Crowley quipped. "I actually called to see how you were."

"Really?" Dean sounded incredulous.

"We're still mates, aren't we? I don't entirely hate you the way I loathe that moose-like brother of yours." Crowley answered, and he could almost hear the shrug in his tone, "In any case, you're the only human I can tolerate."

"…thank you?"

"You're welcome, but I'm not asking how you are just to be nice. I may need your assistance."

"Let me guess: Lucifer."

"He's killed more people and I can't seem to stop him alone. I'm quite injured at the moment."

"Am I supposed to care?"

Sam was looking at him now, trying to piece together their conversation as interest took over. He turned off the show, facing his brother.

"What's going on?"

Dean held up a hand. "Crowley, you still there?"

He appeared in front of them instead, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Hello, boys."

"He needs our help." Dean explained to Sam quickly before he asked.

"With Lucifer? I could help, but Dean isn't going anywhere." Sam told him.

"Don't decide things for me. I'm a grown ass man."

"Who happens to be carrying an unborn child. No, you're staying here."

Dean gave him a look. "Don't say that out loud. It sounds so bizarre."

Otherwise, he let it go. Settling into the couch, he glanced at the demon instead.

"Just listen, you two. He will not stop." Crowley informed them. "Sam, do you care to join me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You do, actually. You may not survive this fight. Lucifer knows your weaknesses." The demon glanced at the older hunter, then at his stomach, "Honestly, you don't have to join me. I'm only asking."

"Is Cas still helping you?" Dean wondered.

"He is."

"I'll only help if you two really can't handle him. For now, I'm staying here at home. I can't leave him." Sam said, shaking his head.

The older man gazed at him, oddly touched.

"You humans and your sentimentality. It makes me sick." Crowley growled. "Fine, stay. I'll most likely be back, however. You two are dense, but useful."

Then he was gone, leaving them to think about the upcoming fight with the furious archangel.

o

"You're really not gonna go?" Dean asked later that night, his eyes wide and questioning.

"Hold on. You actually want me to?"

"I know you can handle it and I'd feel like you were safe if Cas were there. Not to mention, I'm not that far along. If you could somehow lock him back in the cage or kill him before the baby's born, that would be kinda awesome. Very awesome, actually." Dean explained.

Sam knew he had a point. "I don't think a fight will do much good. He's stronger than us."

"Are you thinking about a spell?"

"Rowena has some already, but they're not powerful enough. If I could find one to combine with hers, it might be enough to permanently lock him back in the cage."

Dean's face softened with a look of understanding and he nodded, liking that plan. It seemed to be their best option so far. The only thing left to do was inform Crowley and Castiel, before one of them got seriously hurt or worse.

o

Cas sat on one of the chairs, listening raptly to Sam's plan. They'd called Crowley back and told him already, but still needed to let the angel in on the new strategy.

"It sounds plausible. We could pull that off possibly." Cas commented, nodding.

"We just need to find a spell strong enough." Sam replied.

"And if Rowena will not cooperate?"

"Oh, we'll make her." Dean said gruffly. "Just…without the chains hopefully this time."

Castiel was staring at his belly he noticed, making him blush slightly. The angel realized he was staring at the small bump, his blue eyes snapping up to meet his gaze.

"Let's find something we can use, shall we?" The angel asked.

The two hunters nodded, also sitting down to do some research.

It took several days to find anything useful. Most of the spells Rowena had already tried or simply wouldn't work in their situation. It seemed hopeless. They flipped through countless pages, scoured countless web sites, and still nothing.

"I guess we'll have to just try Rowena's spells again." Sam said, folding his arms.

o

His brother looked exhausted which concerned him. He'd been studying with them the entire time which he normally hated to do, but he knew the hunter was feeling useless and restless because of the pregnancy.

"Dean, go lay down. You need some sleep." Sam told him.

"I'm fine." He muttered. "I slept last night."

"For like four hours."

"I'm good, man." He cracked his back, placing a hand on his small belly. His eyes widened as he felt fluttering, gasping a little as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked.

"Nothing, I think the baby moved. That's all. It was my first time feeling that."

Sam instantly placed a hand on his stomach, disappointed when he couldn't feel any movement.

"It's probably too small to feel from the outside." Dean said to him, still rubbing his stomach subconsciously. "I can feel it though."

Sam smiled, before glancing down at the books in front of him. "We'd better contact her soon."

"Hold on. I've got it." Dean interrupted, looking between the two with a smirk. "You know that movie the Craft, about those witches?"

"You've actually seen that movie?" His older brother kept surprising him—first the soap operas, the chick flicks he supposedly hated, and now this?

"Shut up. Anyway, there was a spell towards the end. It was a binding spell. It was simple but do you think it could bind an archangel?" Dean wondered.

"Depends. What was the incantation?" Cas asked him, raising a brow.

"I bind so and so from doing harm, to themselves and to others."

Cas' eyes widened. "Yes, that actually is a basic binding spell. It's been used for centuries. It…actually may work."

"But it's so simple." Sam said, glancing at Dean. "No offense."

"None taken."

"Sometimes going back to the basics is what works. And sometimes, the simpler the better." Cas replied, standing up. "If we can bind him for a few minutes, we could easily put him back in the cage unlike our earlier attempts."

Dean grinned. Normally, Sam was the smarter one who found the answers. It felt kinda good.

"Someone's proud." Sam said teasingly.

"Let me have this moment, Sam."

He only laughed in returned, nodding as he glanced at him adoringly. It made even Castiel smile a bit, before he gazed at them with a grave expression.

"The sooner we finish this, the better."

o

Before they could face the archangel, they had another important doctor's appointment. This would be the one in which they finally found out the sex and also to determine how healthy the baby was, considering the circumstances.

The midwife and ultrasound technician both were not aware of their relation, only that they were a couple. Sam had left that out of the details when he'd first called her for her assistance.

They pulled up to the center, Sam racing around to open the door for Dean. He batted his hands away, annoyed that he hadn't let him drive. He was tired of being coddled, but the younger man was insistent on being as helpful as he could. Dean couldn't really get mad however, as he knew he was just worried.

"You ready?"

"Yeah…"

Once he was set up, they both looked towards the screen a bit nervously. Julia scanned him as usual, a gentle smile on her face. Her eyes narrowed suddenly, tilting her head as she to discern the gender. A few moments later, she zoomed in and grinned.

"Do you want to know the sex?"

"Yes." Dean nodded.

"Okay, you sure?"

"We're very sure." Sam said, trying not to sound anxious.

"It's a boy."

Dean blinked, not hearing her right. "A boy?"

She nodded.

Sam smiled, gripping his shoulder. Dean glanced up at him, returning his grin.

"Do you know when the official due date would be?" Dean asked Emma suddenly.

It had been hard to pinpoint without a monthly cycle and the vague guess they'd given her as to when they'd copulated.

The midwife wrote something down, frowning. "From what I can tell, you are roughly five months or actually twenty-one weeks precisely. It looks like you'd be due on November eighteenth."

"Is it…does everything look okay?" Dean asked her.

She looked over the test results, nodding. "There's nothing here that indicates a problem. Yet, given your ages, we'd have to watch for conditions like autism. The risks increase with age, but it can happen to younger couples as well. Of course, that can't be detected until after the birth."

"Okay, we understand. Thank you." He smiled.

"No problem. I'll see you in another few weeks."

They left the center silently, getting back into the car. The two knew what was next—they needed to gather Cas, Crowley, and Rowena together. It was time to put an end to all this and find Lucifer's new vessel.

o

The archangel planned on going to the country's most powerful, public figure at first. It was his plan to get the president to allow him to use him as a vessel, a challenging task but not so impossible. It seemed like a perfect plan—after all, he'd be inhabiting the leader of the country. There was plenty of things he could do while in such a position.

Yet, something was holding him back. He didn't know if it was a spell or if it was purely his imaginings, but he couldn't make his way to Washington D.C.

If he'd had a face, he would've scowled. As it were, he was still a mass of energy floating about without a proper vessel. Focusing, he tried to locate the source of this strange feeling. It was a tugging, nagging sensation and wouldn't let him move about freely as he pleased.

Lucifer stopped.

 _'Dean Winchester…'_


	11. Chapter 11

The hunter laid in his old room, rubbing his belly. Normally he would sleep with Sam now in the bigger bed they had recently bought, but he wanted to try the spell privately. His lips pursed as he heard a noise, trying to calm his instincts down. Years of hunting had made falling asleep difficult. He was edgier than usual tonight though.

He was sure his spell was working or at least he hoped so.

"I bind you Lucifer, from harming yourself and from harming others." He whispered again to the darkened room, wrapping string around a paper with his name attached, drawn in blood.

Originally, they'd planned to wait until they found his new vessel to even attempt the incantation, but Dean being who he was couldn't wait. He wanted to know if it would work and Castiel had told him to as well. He would believe in Cas for now, it was all he could do unless he waited like Sam wanted them to.

"I bind you Lucifer, from harming yourself and—!" He paused, gasping as a dark energy filled the room. Turning on his lamp, he saw the swirl of matter near his bed. Even though he had no physical being, he could sense the other's anger.

"So it is you." Words spoke maliciously. "I wish you'd stop."

"You're evil, you're being bound. Simple as that, you son of a bitch." Dean retorted, keeping his eyes on the swirling energy.

"Aw, c'mon. I'm not gonna do anything. Maybe off a few people here and there, but what's it to you? Plenty of people die everyday that you don't save, that don't even know you exist." Lucifer taunted, though there was some truth to his words.

It made Dean's stomach twist, feeling uncomfortable. "True, but I'm still gonna put a stop to you."

"Hm, you know I could make you a deal."

"Pass. I'm smart enough to not make deals with demons anymore. Or Satan, whatever."

"But I'm not a demon, I'm an angel." Lucifer reminded him, his tone sent chills down the hunter's spine for some reason—it sounded so kind, and yet so sinister at once somehow. Like if he kept denying him, he'd be punished.

"I know what you are. Some angel…" Dean muttered, continuing to wrap the string, "I bind you Lucifer, from—!"

"Wait a minute. I can help you." Lucifer insisted. "You want me in the cage, but I want to have my fun."

"Okay?"

"All you have to do is say yes." The archangel would've smirked if possible, knowing the older man was much dafter than his brother.

Even if he said yes accidentally, it was permission in his eyes.

"To what? To let you inhabit my body? So you can kill more people as me and hurt my child?" Dean growled.

"You're not as stupid as you look."

"I'd never say yes to you." Then green eyes widened, dropping the paper and string as he realized what he'd done. He wasn't worried though—it was sooner than he'd planned, but it was part of Cas' strategy.

"You kinda did. I'll take that."

The hunter feigned terror, standing up with wide eyes.

"No—!" But it was too late, he could feel Lucifer's energy raiding his body, a different energy pumping through his veins.

o

The next morning, Sam glanced up when his brother walked into the kitchen. "Good morning."

When he was oddly silent, his eyes narrowed. "I said good morning, Dean."

The hunter's eyes snapped up as though confused. "Yeah, morning."

Sam grew suspicious at his odd behavior. "You sleep good last night?"

"Sure."

A hand yanked open the drawer, gripping a knife slowly. Sam watched this with concerned eyes, before flickering to his face. Something wasn't right here. Before he could say anything, Castiel and Crowley appeared behind him, Rowena at his side suddenly.

"I've located Lucifer." Cas told him. "He's here."

Sam's heart skipped a beat. "Where?"

"Here, idiot." Dean's voice sounded, a vaguely evil smirk twisting his lips. "I'm back."

Sam's stomach sank and he backed away from the counter. "No, no. Dean wouldn't allow you to take his body."

"Eh, he slipped up. Was it a real 'yes'? No, but it worked out." Lucifer shrugged. "But you know, you three have ruined my plans. I waited all night for Paul Bunyan here to wake up. Too easy to kill him in his sleep. I was gonna slit his throat and then…" His eyes glanced down at the small bump. "Kill these two. Anything to finally get rid of these Winchesters."

"You should be more concerned about us." Crowley told him sharply.

"Should I?" Lucifer mocked, before easily tossing all four against the wall with one flick of his finger.

"Wait, don't do this." Sam panted, struggling against the invisible confines that held him back.

"Wait, don't." The archangel pouted, clearly mocking him still. "Oh, please, spare him. Spare the baby. Oh, somebody please help us!" He stilled, giving them a chilling smile, "Fools."

Cas swallowed hard, exchanging a look with Rowena. She nodded, before glaring over at the archangel.

"You are the fool, actually." Castiel grinned a little. "Dean's strong. He'll cast you out and bind you long enough for us to put you back."

Lucifer faltered. "So, this was your plan? He seemed surprised last night."

"Nobody told me about this." Sam glared at the other three.

"I wouldn't have convinced him if I thought that the baby would be in real danger." Cas continued. "I told him to try the spell, to lure Lucifer to him."

"Make him accept him into his body." Rowena finished.

"And finish him." Crowley smirked.

"You're lying. This little brat doesn't the energy. I can sense that much." Lucifer sneered, before pausing.

"Something the matter?" The angel asked him.

Lucifer's, or Dean's eyes rather, widened furiously. "You actually tricked someone like me? I'll admit though, you guys got me good."

Sam watched with confusion as Dean's body seemed to stiffen, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. His teeth grit before he seemed to silently mouth something, but he couldn't tell what it was. Their bodies were released from the invisible hold and Castiel went into Dean's old room, retrieving something.

"I bind you Lucifer, from harming yourself and from harming others." Cas repeated, wrapping the string more tightly around.

During the last fight, his body had been occupied. He was determined to be useful this time, to stop him permanently. He wished for there to finally be some peace, if only for a small time.

"I bind you! And cast you out." Castiel finished, the string completely bound against the blood-soaked parchment.

Dean's body collapsed, the dark energy immediately exiting from his mouth. Sam ran over to him, pulling him up and laying his head onto his lap. His eyes gazed up at the archangel, angry and vengeful.

Cas could see the invisible ties that held him in place. "Rowena."

"Right." She nodded. Holding on to the strings she could see along with Cas and Crowley, they disappeared from sight.

o

They appeared directly in front of the cage. Crowley looked at her, then Cas. "Which one of you did that? I certainly didn't."

"You're welcome." Rowena looked a bit flustered. "I transported us directly here, not always an easy feat."

"We don't have much time." Castiel reminded them.

Her hands raised up, before sweeping down at her sides. "Abite!"

Lucifer's energy flew straight pass the locks, into the sealed cage. It wasn't enough for her though, and the witch kept repeating it until she was satisfied. If it wasn't enough to keep him at the bottom of the ocean, she wouldn't only say it once. Rowena wanted to make sure he stayed there and stayed gone, this time for good.

"Abite, abite, abite! Abite!" She screamed, before panting heavily.

"Mother, it's done." Crowley informed her calmly. "He won't be coming out."

"How do ye know? He escaped last time."

Castiel stepped forward suddenly, walking in front of the cage. His blue eyes stared up at him pointedly. "I will speak to God for you. I will ask father to come see you, if only to make amends with you."

"He attempted that before. It means nothing." Lucifer's voice sounded.

"I want to help you, brother. You're one of us." The angel told him. "I won't keep you here forever."

"Oh, how nice of you." The sarcasm was thick.

"Even if God doesn't come back, I will be here. So will our brothers and sisters. Perhaps one day, you will learn to live amongst us."

"That's cute, but you can't really think that's gonna happen?"

"I can hope."

Crowley also stepped forward. "You'd better make amends, because there's no bloody way in hell you're taking what's mine."

"We'll see."

Castiel frowned. "Do not think for a moment God, nor the angels, do not care. I will pray for you, Lucifer. The rest is up to you."

o

Dean finally came to, blinking his eyes open. His body didn't seem much affected by the archangel, considering he'd only been inside his being for less than a day. There was no sign of decay or decomposition. He seemed fine.

"How are you feeling?"

"Did we get him?" Dean asked, blinking blearily as he sat up.

"Hopefully. The others aren't back yet." Sam looked worried.

It was then he noticed he was in the birthing center, hooked up to an IV. The room was freakishly white and plain, making him wish he was back home. He didn't like being in hospitals and avoided them as much as possible.

"Is the baby okay?"

"He's fine."

Dean smiled a little. He placed Sam's hand on his stomach. The younger man kissed him briefly, smoothing his hair back.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Sam admitted.

"You too, handsome." Dean smirked, patting his shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

After being released a few hours later, Dean desperately wanted to do something normal. Anything to take his mind off of what had just happened.

"Wanna look at baby stuff?" He asked. "It's not my first choice, but we need to start stocking up."

"Why don't we just start with diapers and clothes. The nursery can wait a little longer, right?"

"Sounds like a plan."

o

When they got home, Dean placed the bags onto the counter and peered into them. "Man, we have way too many apples."

"You said you were craving them."

The older hunter glanced over at Castiel who walked into the room. "It's done."

He felt relief flood through his body. "Are you sure?"

"For now, he's sealed. How long it will last, we do not know."

"Thank god. Or you, whatever." Dean breathed.

Sam grinned. "We should celebrate or something."

"I'm too tired. You guys go ahead."

Castiel turned to Sam. "I'm choosing the Netflix."

"Every time, Cas. No, I'm picking the show this time."

"Very well, but I choose what we eat."

"I thought you didn't need to eat."

"Some human food is quite tasty regardless." Cas explained vaguely. "We're ordering pizza."

"Fine by me."

o

The rest of the summer went by peacefully. It was strange to the two hunters to not have to worry about cases so often, to not face a villain or mounting evil of some kind. The only thing that concerned them was delivering a healthy child.

Dean was getting nervous the closer his due date got. It was October now and he was about eight months. He felt big enough, but knew he'd get bigger before their son was born.

Adjusting the loose black shirt he wore, he debated changing out of his pajamas into real clothing. He was so comfy here though.

"Sam!"

The younger hunter raced to him, fearing the worst. "Yes? What's wrong?"

He smiled a bit sheepishly. "Can I have some more pie? I'd move, but I'm really comfortable."

Sam sighed a little, his thudding heart slowing back to regular place. "Don't scare me like that."

He handed him his plate. "Blueberry, not the cherry one. Thanks."

"Yeah, okay."

While Sam was gone, he felt his phone vibrating. Glancing at the number, he hesitated as he debated answering it. He decided not to, since it was too embarrassing for her to know. The midwife and the angel-demon-witch trio were one thing, but Jody? This would be too much even for the sheriff.

The doorbell rang soon after and Sam passed him his plate before heading up the stairs. Peeking through the small hole in the door, he looked intrigued.

"Dean, it's Sheriff Mills."

The heavily pregnant man paled and glanced up at him. "Tell her we're busy with cases."

"Don't you think she'd want to help with a case?" Sam reminded him. "I'll tell her you're sick."

Opening the door, he forced a smile as she hugged him. Jody set her bag down, grinning widely. "I know this is super short notice, but I just really missed you guys."

"There's another reason, isn't there?" Sam guessed.

Jody sighed, frowning. "I'm all alone in that big house right now. Alex is in college now and Claire is off doing her own thing, working. I thought I'd be happy to finally have an empty nest."

"Lonely?"

"Yeah…and before you say anything, yes I've tried online dating. It's not working out so far."

"Sorry to hear that, and normally we'd be glad to let you hang out for awhile, but…Dean's very ill right now."

"Oh, no. Something to do with hunting?"

Sam smiled. "Actually, just a regular cold. Flu, really. He's very contagious, you don't wanna be near him."

"Poor guy." Jody frowned. "Good thing I have great cold remedies. Trust me, they work."

"I can write them down, thanks."

"Oh, come on. I'll just make him a little something and then I'm out of your hair. Promise, I'm not Donna. No offense to her or anything."

"O-Okay." He couldn't really say no at this point. She was being totally reasonable and if he kept denying her entrance, Jody would know something weird was going on. It seemed she'd find out after all.

As she came down the stairs, her eyes widened so much Sam feared they'd pop out of her skull. He laughed nervously, as did Dean who was still glued to the couch, one hand resting on his large bump.

"He…he…I see why you didn't want me to come in." Jody blinked several times.

"Hey, Jody." Dean smiled uncomfortably.

"You, uh, you're…" She shook her head, her jaw slack.

His belly looked too perfectly round and otherwise he was slender everywhere else. Dean looked content actually and his skin had a healthier glow than she remembered. Still, she couldn't process it. Maybe he'd just gained weight?

No, she thought, he was pregnant. She knew enough from her own pregnancy to recognize that he was probably in the third trimester.

"Jody, I'm so sorry." Sam apologized. "I understand if you think it's too… disturbing, we couldn't even blame you for that."

"Who's the father?" She wondered.

"A shapeshifter." Dean lied smoothly. "It's a long story, but it took advantage. I guess we never thought it could impregnate a male."

"Oh my god, that's horrible. You couldn't fight it off?" She looked half-way suspicious, half-horrified.

"No."

Sam gave him a funny look, to which he glared in return. There was no way she could know the truth, not unless they wanted her to disown them as friends.

Jody placed a hand to her mouth, moving to hug him tightly. "I'm so sorry that happened. Things like that, you never get over."

"I'm doing okay, actually." He frowned, feeling a little bad. Part of him felt compelled to tell her the truth, but he didn't want to face her reaction.

Jody and Donna were some of the only normal friends they had and he didn't want to lose them. They'd lost enough friends already, whether to death or unforeseen circumstance.

"Well, don't worry, I know plenty about having babies. Or…shapeshifters?"

"Thanks Jody, but—!"

"Oh, I understand. You two are busy. I'd just be in the way, I totally get it. I don't like houseguests for too long either."

"No, it's fine. It'd be nice." Dean assured her. "We have plenty of space."

Sam nodded.

"Oh, this is kind of weirdly interesting." She murmured. "I mean, I've seen a lot of things as a sheriff, but I never thought I'd see a pregnant…well, guy. No offense."

"Nah, it's cool. It is weird." He agreed.

Sam showed her to one of the many empty bedrooms available, while Dean stood there with a bemused expression. In a way, he was glad to have her here. Jody was a mother herself and would probably have good advice for him.

He felt a painless contraction grip him again, shifting on his feet. He wondered if this was normal and would ask her about it later. Technically, Emma had explained it already but he hadn't been listening. Lifting up his shirt, he was shocked again at how huge he'd gotten in a relatively short amount of time. Rubbing a hand against the taut skin, he smirked when he felt a strong kick.

o

At dinner, Dean cleared his throat. "Jody, you remember your own labor, right?"

"Yes. My son came late. I can't forget that." She put her fork down.

"Is it typical to feel painless contractions?" He wondered.

Sam almost dropped his glass at that last word, turning to face him with blatant concern.

"Sure. Then towards the beginning of real labor, it gets painful like menstrual cramps, and usually gets stronger and more lengthy towards the end."

"Is it as bad as women say?" He took a sip of his water.

"Oh, you'll be fine." Her tone was unconvincing. "Are you having a c-section? I guess you'd have to, considering…"

"Yep, on the eighteenth."

o

Only a week later though, Dean felt strange one night. His groin was burning and it felt like something was tearing inside him. It made him sit up with a pained wince, effectively waking Sam up in the process. Clutching the sheets, sweat beaded at his hairline.

"What's up?" Sam glanced up at him, resting on his elbows.

"Something's wrong." Dean replied and it made the younger man sit up immediately. He'd never heard his brother's voice so small and scared before.

"The baby?"

"No…like…down here…" He looked uncomfortable, biting his lip. "Sam, I think I'm bleeding."

Those words made him panic, but before he could help Dean out, he'd awkwardly walked away from the bed and into the bathroom. The click of the lock sounded much to his dismay.

Heading over to the door, he knocked a couple times. "Please, let me in. If you're bleeding, we need to go to the center."

It was way too quiet for several moments.

Dean examined his body, using a small mirror to see what the hell was going on. His groin was throbbing in the worst way and the pain stung. He lifted a thigh to see better and blushed, cursing loudly when he saw what had happened.

"Holy shit, I'm a fucking chick!" He yelled.

Sam blinked, before narrowing his eyes confusedly. "Come again?"

Dean threw the door open, his face red. "There's some kind of slit down there and don't you dare look. You're not going anywhere near it."

"Wait…what?" Sam was lost.

"Never mind. It doesn't hurt anymore but it feels strange." Dean explained. "I'm going back to bed."

Sam blinked many more times before following him back into bed. "It's between your…?"

"Yes." He mumbled. The newly formed slit appeared to between his shaft and entrance, and he didn't know why it was happening now. It couldn't mean what he thought. They'd scheduled a c-section already for the eighteenth of November.

"I'm sorry, Dean. We'll see Emma soon, she'll know what to do." Sam said so convincingly and comfortingly, he almost fully believed him until he realized she wouldn't.

It was difficult to get back to sleep. He tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable spot. His belly was swollen and taut, making it hard to sleep on his stomach like he used to. These days, he found himself sleeping upright or awkwardly on his side in a twisted position.

The body pillow Sam had bought for him helped immensely and soon he found himself buried into it, fast asleep.

o

When Dean woke up, he noticed Sam had a palm on his round stomach. He looked at him strangely, causing the younger man to pull away.

"My bad, it's just you don't usually let me feel so…"

The older man silenced him by placing his hand back on the large bump. Sam rested his cheek against his skin, feeling the child's movements with awe.

"I can't believe he's gonna be here in a couple weeks."

"I wish they'd go by faster." Dean grumbled. "Ugh, hold on. I'll be back, I gotta hit the can."

Sam moved to let him up, watching as he walked into the bathroom. When he came out, he noticed how unhappy he still looked.

"C'mere." He beckoned.

Dean sat next to him, cupping his stomach. "What?"

"Look, I know you're not enjoying this. I wish there was more that I could do."

Dean blinked incredulously. "Idiot, I'm not upset about this. It's the newest development that bothers me. What if it never closes up?"

"It will."

The older man sat there silently, not about to tell Sam he actually enjoyed this pregnancy. It hadn't been all bad. Feeling hungry and sleepy constantly wasn't fun, nor the extra bathroom trips. But still, it was amazing to watch a new life grow and Sam being nicer than usual was also pretty awesome.

He glanced over at Sam, noticing the power of his muscles as he shifted in bed. It made him a bit horny somehow and he cursed his stupid hormones. Instead of his libido going down, it had only went up. It was maddening sometimes, how easily he felt lust now.

His younger brother seemed to sense the change in his mood, glancing at him. He kissed him gently, before biting at his bottom lip. Dean moaned, quickly responding back to his touch. Since Jody had moved in temporarily, they'd learned to be quiet and to leave the room at different times as to not arouse suspicion.

She'd find out eventually and Dean dreaded that moment, when she would no longer be a part of their lives anymore.

He was distracted when Sam took a pink nipple into his mouth, the other shifting and sighing at the feeling of his tongue teasing him. He caressed the bulge of his erection. Despite his earlier warnings about not looking at his new opening, lust took over logic as Sam lowered Dean's waistband. His erection sprang out, already leaking from the tip. The younger man took his time prepping him. He slowly inserted one finger, watching the other man's reaction. When he finally relaxed and began moaning quietly, he added a second digit. Slowly, he began to scissor his fingers as he finger-fucked him deeply. He smirked at the loud moans that escaped Dean. He began to writhe on the bed, his hips jerking a little as the pleasure became overwhelming. Shuddering, he gasped as the younger man brushed against his prostate.

At the same time, he took Dean's shaft into his other hand and began jerking it. The older man bit his lip, trying to silence his moans. His breaths came in heavy pants as he felt himself grow harder.

"Sam…"

He quickened his pace, watching as the older hunter tensed and curled in on himself as best he could as his orgasm took over. Dean came hard, a muffled cry escaped him as he fell back onto the bed. Sam leaned down to kiss his forehead, then his lips.

"Fuck." Dean smirked, reaching for the younger man's bulge.

Sam shook his head. "It's okay."

He tugged his briefs down anyway, taking him into his mouth. Sam breathed in sharply, letting out a quiet gasp as he felt his orgasm build up way faster than he'd would've liked. He'd wanted to last longer. He came suddenly, trembling a little as he came into his mouth.

After a long, out-of-breath moment, Dean shifted his weight away a little without breaking contact and listened to Sam breathe. Sam was carding his fingers through Dean's hair as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if he'd been waiting for a chance to do it. They drifted there for awhile, and Dean used the time to trace patterns along Sam's throat and chest with his fingertips, eliciting a shiver every so often.

o

Sam left the room first after taking a shower, leaving Dean to wash up and get changed. Jody waited with her arms folded, taking a bite of toast.

"Hello."

Sam swallowed nervously. "Hey."

She set her breakfast down, taking a long drink of orange juice. "Alright, so how stupid do you think I am?"

Never had he felt such intense embarrassment. "You heard us."

"No, not at all. I'm gonna ignore the fact you said that, but I have put the pieces together." She informed him. "I'm a sheriff, need I remind you. I'm kinda good at this sort of thing."

"How did you know?"

"The way you look at him, the way you two talk to each other, it's the small things."

"…"

She gave him a sharp look. "Listen, under any other circumstance, I'd be packing my bags so fast it'd make your head spin. I'd probably cuss you out too and get you two some serious help."

"But…?"

Jody sighed, shrugging. "Your lives aren't like most people's. You two grew up in a way most people can't even imagine. And you were always by each other's side. I guess in some sort of odd way, it makes sense why you two would end up together."

"Jody—!"

"Let me finish." She said, eyeing the table instead. "I knew you two loved each other back when we first met. I don't condone it at all, but I saw it back then, I just chose to ignore it."

"We weren't together back then."

"Oh, yes you were. You two have been 'together' longer than you think. Love isn't just about sex."

Sam had no idea how to reply to that, he simply sat down and avoided her gaze. "You knew."

"Duh."

"But you let us help you out all that time, invited us into your home."

"Sure, because I love you boys. You remind me of the sons I could've had, if my boy had've survived."

"Except he would've been, you know, regular. Not hunters like us."

"You never know."

"You wouldn't have let him, trust me."

"I dunno. Claire is still insistent on it, even after all that happened, I can't seem to stop her. I'm afraid Dean rubbed off on her a little too much. She'll never admit it out loud, but she looks up to him."

"Does she?"

"Oh my god, yes. He's all she talks about half the time when she's not talking about cases or how much school sucks. It's funny, he's good with children."

Sam smiled at that for some reason, knowing she spoke the truth. He had always been better with babies and kids, even difficult ones.

It was that moment he walked in. "Hey, guys."

They looked at him silently.

"Talking about me?"

"No, no way." Sam shook his head. "But just so you know, she's totally aware of everything."

Dean felt the blood drain from his face and he grinned awkwardly. "W-What? Then why is she calmly sitting at our table like nothing sick is going on?"

"It's okay, Dean. Sit down." She offered him a seat, pulling out the chair next to hers. "I don't approve of it, but you boys are some of the only family I've got left. I care about that much, at least."

He smiled half-heartedly, though he felt better. "Thank you, Jody."

"So…wow, you two are having a kid." She finished off her juice. "I'm gonna need something a lot stronger."


	13. Chapter 13

The next few weeks flew by with Jody helping them out. She had all kinds of advice for Dean his midwife nor the books could tell him. Her help was very appreciated, needless to say. She also made delicious home-made meals for them that they both could admit was better than their cooking.

The nursery was only half-way done still, but Dean figured they had time. The crib and changing table was set up at least. It was only November ninth, so they had at least another week.

He felt another spasm in his abdomen, a little more painful this time. It felt like uncomfortable gas cramps to him, not knowing what menstrual cramps felt like. It was enough to make him moan a bit, pressing a hand into his back as he sat down. He waited for the dull ache to go away, letting out a breath when it passed.

"You okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, it's been happening every fifteen minutes for like a couple hours. It happened the past couple of days too."

"And it stopped?"

"Yeah."

"False contractions. You'll know when it's really time, trust me." Jody assured them.

Sam moved the dresser along the wall, lining it up with the bookshelf that was filled with toys and kids' books.

"More to the left? What do you think?"

Dean got up with Jody's assistance, moving to look at it. "It looks good to me."

He sorted through the baby clothes for a moment, amazed at how tiny the newborn sizes were. Certainly, a baby couldn't be small enough to fit into these? He held a little onesie in his hands, trying to imagine a baby wearing it.

Dean sorted through it for another few minutes, sorting stuff and folding it up neatly when he felt another contraction. Holding onto the dresser, he bowed his head and groaned deeply.

"Dean?"

"That was stronger. Damn." He breathed, the dull ache still present. It definitely hurt more than he expected.

"You wanna sit down?"

"I'm good, man. Thanks." He adjusted the plaid shirt he was wearing, before smoothing down the black tee underneath it. His hips hurt all of a sudden, along with his lower back. He brushed it off, assuming the baby was fine.

o

Rowena couldn't resist visiting. She knew his due date was growing close and as sadistic as it sounded, she was somewhat interested in seeing how a male would handle such a thing. She remembered her ordeal—it had been centuries ago in Scotland, she'd only been a teen, and it had been quite unpleasant. All she remembered aside from the pain was the straw roof over her head. It had been such a tiny, rancid hut.

"Hello, I'm here." She announced as though they'd been expecting her.

Sam and Dean only looked at her with raised brows. Jody looked confused, glancing at the woman. Rowena stared back at her, unused to the female company. She was quite used to being the only woman around, since Charlie was now gone.

"Who's this little lass?"

"Jody Mills. Sheriff Mills, actually."

"I'm Rowena."

"Nice to meet you." The woman outstretched her hand, awkwardly drawing it back when the witch made no move.

"Dean, how are ye?" She asked instead.

"You don't give a crap. You just wanna watch the birth, right? See me in pain?"

"Oh, you know me far too well."

"Too bad. I don't want you around when the baby comes. Go away." He shooed her off, giving her a no-nonsense look.

"You're not welcome here, Rowena." Sam added.

"Oh, but I was welcome when I was useful to ye. Hypocrites." She rolled her eyes.

Dean looked away. "Well, uh, that was different. We needed your help."

"I can help." She insisted.

"We have plenty."

Rowena smirked. "I'm staying."

Dean was too tired to fight her, so he nodded. "Whatever. Stay, don't stay. Geez, is everyone gonna show up for his birth?"

"Why not?" Sam figured, shrugging. "They're family, in a way. We don't exactly have our own family around anymore."

Dean saw his point. "Fine, but I draw the line at Crowley."

"I don't blame you."

o

The two women sat in the kitchen that night, awkwardly eyeing each other. They hadn't said much to one another. Dean was preparing something that smelled great, but all they could do was wait. Sam was somewhere else, probably in the library.

Dean straightened up, tossing the oven mitts aside. "You guys want veggies with this? Sam likes it, but I dunno know if you do."

"I've got it. I'll make the sides, you sit down." Jody insisted.

He handed her the bag, grinning. "Thanks, I'll be back."

As soon as he left, Jody put the broccoli on with some butter before sitting back down. Rowena was still staring at the doorway.

"The nerve of him."

"Huh?"

"How is he that far along and still looks so bloody good? Aside from the bump, he's not gained any weight."

"Fast metabolism?"

"At almost forty, I doubt it. Good genes." She sipped her tea. "He is beautiful, I must admit."

"Can't disagree with that."

"Hm."

Jody sighed a little. "You know, about the birth, wouldn't it be funny if he handled it really well?"

Rowena's face darkened as she frowned sharply. "No, it wouldn't be funny. Not at all."

"Why not?"

"It's the one thing in life we women can even claim. For us, it's pain and it's why they call it labor. If a man just breezes through it, then that would simply make light of it if ye ask me."

"Huh, never thought about it like that. You're right."

"I always am, darlin'."

o

Around eight in the morning the following day, Dean felt strange. He woke up due to contractions at around six, unable to fall back asleep. It was beginning to hurt pretty badly, to the point where he felt like it was the real deal.

"Sam?" He turned to find him gone.

The younger man came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his lean waist. "How are you?"

"I think we might wanna call Emma."

He paused. "Okay. No problem." Outwardly, he appeared calm and collected, but inside he was panicking. Their son might actually arrive early.

Another contraction gripped him and he moaned lowly, gripping the sheets under him. "Ugh, that hurts."

"I've got the hospital bag." Sam helped him up, before getting dressed quickly.

Dean got changed slowly, feeling uncomfortable now. He pressed a hand into his back, letting out a deep breath. This was definitely the most exciting, nerve-wracking thing he'd done in his life so far, and he'd done and seen a whole lot of interesting things over the years.

About five or so minutes later, Sam hoisted the bag onto his shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…" He shifted, his brow furrowing. He unintentionally grabbed Sam's hands, squeezing them a little as he rode the pain out. Sam placed a hand on his bump, feeling it tense and harden.

Dean moaned quietly. It hurt him, but not enough to feel agonizing yet. The pain was rippling and started near his lower back, tightening around his abdomen and squeezed harder and harder before slowly releasing again. And somewhat, he could feel the dull ache that Jody told him would get stronger.

"How many minutes in between?"

"Irregular right now. They feel like they're getting closer though." Dean's eyes widened nervously despite himself and it struck Sam how young he still looked then. It reminded him of the man who'd came to get him at Stanford all those years ago.

"It'll be fine. I'm gonna call Emma, or do you want to?"

"I will." He dialed her number and calmly explained what was going on. In only a matter of minutes, they were advised to go the center. She'd meet them there soon.

As they left the room, they went into the living area first near the library. The two ladies were chatting and seemingly more at ease with each other, before becoming silent as they noticed the two hunters. Castiel was there too—it seemed he had sensed it somehow. Calmly flipping through a book, he set it down as they came in.

"We're going to the center now. He's in labor." Sam informed them.

Rowena's brow rose. "So soon? Don't ye have another week?"

Jody shot out of her chair, coming over to them. "It looks like we'll have a baby sooner than we thought, huh?"

"Yep." Dean still looked a bit nervous.

"Will it be healthy, given the circumstances?" Jody suddenly wondered, and berated herself for not asking sooner. She'd been so shocked at the male pregnancy part, that had slipped her mind until now.

"The tests came back with good results." The older man replied. "He should be okay, we're hoping anyway."

"He is healthy." Cas informed them, nodding in agreement.

"See you guys later." Sam said, helping him to the car.

As soon as he sat down, another contraction gripped him. Hanging on to the door handle, he moaned lowly and squirmed in his seat. They were getting closer together. Sam started the car, driving off quickly.

"Slow down." Dean murmured about ten minutes later, noticing he was starting to speed.

"Right…"

o

At the birthing center, they'd managed to get quite a nice room. He stood by the window, dressed in a hospital gown and opened white robe. The extra material bothered him suddenly and he tossed the robe onto one of the chairs.

Another pain hit—they were only four minutes apart now. After examining him minutes prior, Emma found he was already the equivalent of five centimeters. It would definitely happen today, or later on during the night.

He rubbed his stomach, feeling a kick as the contraction ebbed away. He opted for no epidural as that would require more people knowing about this. Dean didn't want an anesthesiologist involved—there were enough people involved as it were.

Sam suggested using an exercise ball to cope with the pains, but Dean refused at first. About half an hour later though, he found himself rolling back and forth on it, using it to massage his hips and hopefully move the baby down faster.

It didn't take long for the contractions to close in on each other. It was oddly relieving, since that meant it would be over soon and they'd get to hold their child. Still, the pain was almost unbearable and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to deal with this much longer without drugs.

"Fuck…" He moaned deeply, gripping his thighs as he curled his chin to his chest. His moans were long and continuous.

It made Sam feel a bit useless, just sitting there watching him. His brother didn't want him to touch him during this, so he couldn't even give him a massage.

"Want some ice?" He asked.

"Ice. Yeah." Dean longed for something to cool him off, it was perfect timing. A bead of sweat trailed down his face and he felt Emma wiping his face gently.

"You're doing well." She told him. "I'll examine you again now, just to see how everything's looking."

He only nodded, moving back onto the bed again with her help. She gripped a thigh gently, her other hand checking the dilation. Emma smiled sympathetically at the discomfort written on his face.

"Seven centimeters. You're close. It should be soon." She promised.

"Minutes, hours?" He asked.

"It depends on the person, how fast you continue to dilate."

Dean groaned a little, sitting up and walking about. He was glad they'd chosen a birthing center instead of a hospital—he liked that they encouraged more movement and different coping methods. He wasn't sure how he'd handle being mostly confined to a bed. It would probably drive him crazy and he didn't know how women did that. Probably because they usually got epidurals.

"You want to walk in the hallways?" Emma asked from his side.

He pulled his IV pole with him, shaking his head. "Nah, this room is big enough."

"You might want to try getting into a warm tub. You could deliver there, given the new opening. It seems like it'd be safe." Emma explained.

"Could I just sit in it for awhile? I don't wanna have him in there though." The idea of hot, comforting water sounded amazing with the painful, dull contractions he was having now.

"No problem. But once you're in there, you probably won't wanna come out."

When Sam came back with the ice, he noticed his brother was in the adjacent room that had a small birthing tub in it.

o

For the next hour, Dean labored in the tub. The world disappeared around him every time a contraction struck. It turned into an unimportant rubble of sounds and murmurs. Placing his forehead on the edge of the tub, he rocked his hips slightly as he continued to moan through the pain.

Sam felt his face warm the entire time for some reason. It was odd to see the normally strong, feisty hunter in so much pain. And there was nothing he could do to help him. All he could do was murmur words of comfort, rubbing his back for him even though earlier he didn't him to. Now he didn't even protest and Sam assumed the pain was bad enough that he didn't care anymore.

His moans picked up in intensity, something that made Sam more than nervous but he breathed with him, trying to be a good coach during this. It sounded higher, more like a keening noise than a moan. Almost bordering on a cry if he didn't know better. It went on like this for at least another half hour, his moans getting higher until he let out a cry of a pain.

"Dean?"

"How much longer?" He murmured.

"Breathe. Listen to your body, it's all on your time." She assured him. "The thing about birthing centers that's different from hospitals, is we like to let mom be in control of the labor, not the doctor."

"Hear that? You're doing good." Sam told him, taking a hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

Dean groaned. "I can't do this anymore. Not this, it's too much."

"You can."

"No, no Sam…I can't." He blinked tiredly, wanting to sleep. Or eat. Anything but this.

Pain gripped him harder this time and he felt pressure release. Gasping, his hand flew to his bump and he looked down at the water that was tinged with blood and other unpleasant fluids. His eyes flew to hers confusedly.

"Your water must've broken. Harder to tell when you're in the water." She smiled. "I'm glad it broke on its own or I would've had to step in."

Dean wanted to tense with the contractions but knew it would only make it worse. Breathing and relaxing was the only sedative he had. These new pains felt stronger and he felt an odd urge to push. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. The pain was so much he almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, fading in and out to their words of encouragement.

Honestly, he was fine with other injuries, cuts, bruises, but this was a bit much for him. He could admit that now.

"Want some music on?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah. Something soft."

"You got it." He fished for his phone, playing it quietly and it relaxed him somewhat. It made the entire experience feel less clinical.

"It hurts." He panted. Dean felt ridiculous—they already knew he was in pain, but it felt better to admit it for some reason. Like somehow it would take the edge off of these contractions.

Sam frowned a little. "I know, but you're doing really well. Trust me."

Dean grit his teeth, before closing his eyes. "Sam!" Another agonized moan filled the room as he grabbed hold off his shoulders again.

"Breathe, you need to breathe." The younger man reminded him, noticing how red he was turning.

Dean unwillingly tried to breathe more deeply, but fuck it really hurt. His breaths evened out as he tried not to panic and start screaming, which is what he really wanted to do at the moment. Pain, pain, and more pain. It throbbed, the pain sharp and somehow aching at once.

The pain was relieved for a moment when he suddenly felt an intense urge to push. It took him by surprise. He was very used to being in full control of his body.

"He's coming now." His words were strangled, sounding odd and low to Sam's ears.

"Now?" Sam repeated dumbly, feeling oddly thrilled. It was finally happening and seemed surreal all of a sudden.

"Do you want to stay in the water? We could help you out." Emma told him, hovering nearby but not invading his space. As a midwife, her role was to support but not intervene too much unless necessary

"Out. Please." He grit his teeth to stifle his pained moan, not wanting to be in the water anymore. His skin felt pruny and shriveled.

It wasn't as difficult to get him out as they'd thought, he seemed more than ready to leave the tub. He knelt on his knees instead, surrounded by the blankets the midwife had brought into the room.

"Whenever you're ready." She told him, nodding. He was fully dilated.

Sam glanced at the clock. It was about five forty in the evening. He'd been in labor longer than he realized.

Dean's moans had turned into heavy grunts and panting. He pushed for about ten seconds, before collapsing against Sam who was supporting him. His wet hospital gown annoyed him, but he was too focused on getting the baby out to ask someone to remove it for him.

"He's a little cold. I'll get some socks." Emma told Sam, leaving the room which made the younger man panic.

"Hey—!"

"Don't worry, he's doing great. I'll be back."

Dean pushed again, harder this time and groaned loudly. Sam watched in amazement as the once small opening grew uncomfortably wide. It was disturbing to see, but at this point he didn't look away.

"Keep going." He urged him.

"Like I have a choice." Dean muttered, panting heavily as he stopped for a moment. It was beginning to burn and Emma's next words ignited new energy.

"He's starting to crown." She told them, placing the warm socks on for him before stepping back and grabbing a towel along with something to clear the baby's airways.

He continued to push for a good ten minutes, grunting when the head finally emerged. It slid out easily, but the shoulders were the hardest part. Emma gripped the baby's head, turning it slightly at an angle as the infant turned, nodding for him to push.

Taking a deep breath, he bore down hard, determined to make this the last push. Emma looked surprised, gripping one shoulder as it popped out, his entrance stretched to limits he didn't know were possible. Yelling out in pain, he closed his eyes as the rest of the shoulders slid out followed by the rest of the small body. He felt a rush of fluid leave as well, but didn't care about that as his child was set onto his now soft, deflated belly.

The world fell away as Dean stared at the infant who'd been growing within him, unable to believe he was actually here for a moment. Despite telling himself he wouldn't cry, he felt his eyes mist with tears. Blinking them back, he took a small hand into his and examined the fingers that weakly gripped back. His hair was matted and blonde from what they could see, but that could change as he got older. His tiny body wriggled on his chest seeking out warmth as the cold air washed over him.

"Oh, my god." Sam was smiling. "He's tiny."

"Yeah…" He agreed quietly, holding the newborn carefully in his arms.

Emma cleared his throat out, patting his back a little and rubbing him with a clean towel as he began crying loudly. The wails of an infant filled the room. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before staring down at the tiny being who was clearly upset with being forced out into the world.

Emma helped Sam cut the cord, who did so hesitantly.

"I'll clean him off." The midwife said moments later, taking the baby gently into her arms.

Once the newborn was cleaned, weighed, and gotten his footprints she turned back to Dean to help him deliver the afterbirth. It was expelled quickly and she promptly helped him clean up.

"He's beautiful, Dean." Sam told him, taking a tiny hand.

The older man held him in his arms, nodding his agreement. "I wonder who he'll look like."

"We'll find out, I guess. I think he looks like you."

"Sort of. It's too soon to tell."

The older man handed him their son, watching as Sam took him awkwardly into his arms before finding his bearings. It felt unreal after all these years to hold his son. It sounded depressive, but it wasn't to him—in all honesty, Sam had abandoned the idea of ever being able to have a family of his own. It just hadn't seemed possible with the work they did.

"Hey, buddy." Sam smiled. The baby yawned widely, his eyes fluttering shut.

Emma let him have a moment before she cleared her throat. "I usually like for the baby to have skin contact now, it helps with bonding."

Sam was confused, until she realized she meant Dean. Of course. Nodding, he handed the baby back and watched as the midwife helped him situate the newborn so that he laid under his hospital gown, strapped securely onto his chest instead.

Dean smiled widely, unused to this. But he enjoyed having his son close. "Hey, little guy. Sorry we're your parents. You sure picked a weird family to be born into. Must have some serious karma."

"Dean." Sam grinned amusedly, shaking his head.

"Well, it's true."

Sam was too content right now to even really get upset at him, he simply kissed him gently before pressed his forehead against the other's momentarily.

"I'm glad you two are alright. How are you feeling now?"

"Better. I'm good, thanks." He rubbed the infant's back. Honestly, he was sore and sleepy as hell but Sam didn't need to know that.

Emma handed him some medication that he assumed would help with the discomfort. Downing it with some water, he focused on the baby again. Their son's lips were pursed, searching for a nipple most likely.

"I can't feed him." Dean told her. His chest had swelled a bit, but not enough to produce enough milk.

"I have a formula you can use." She told them.

Back in the bed, Dean set about feeding the baby with a bottle. It took a minute, but he latched on and started suckling.

"What's his name?" Emma asked them.

"Ryan." Sam answered.

o

Two days later, they were cleared to go. Dean got up gingerly, making sure he had everything before they left. He was still bleeding a little and would continue to do so for another couple days. It was frustrating and demeaning to have to wear a 'maternity pad' as Emma called it, but it was that or ruin his clothing.

There was a lot about pregnancy he should've read up on and didn't. His chest hurt too, sore and aching, yet there was no milk coming out so there was nothing he could do but pump the bit that was even there. It wasn't quite enough to feed Ryan with. It made something in him ache, hearing his baby cry when he was hungry, and having to use formula instead. Not that he wanted to breastfeed, but still.

"You ready to leave?"

"So ready."

When they arrived back at the bunker, everyone was waiting for them. Dean set the carseat down carefully, pulling back the blanket that covered him. Cas smiled at the infant, before glancing between them.

"He is very healthy. Congrats to you both."

"Thanks."

The women were much more taken by the infant. "Oh my goodness, look how little. He's precious." Jody felt tempted to pinch his little feet but refrained.

"He's quite beautiful, isn't he?" Rowena had to admit. "I hope he takes after his mother."

Sam gave her a dirty look, frowning.

"It's not that you're not handsome, but Dean has such…how shall I say? Delicate features."

Now Dean shot her a dark glare, before sighing a little. She was right, he couldn't even be pissed off. Gwen Campbell had told him the same thing years ago, along with others. 'Pretty boy', people had called him.

"Can I please hold him? I promise I'll be careful." Jody told them.

"Well…sure." Dean lifted Ryan gently, placing him in her arms as she sat down. Cas peered over her shoulder at the child.

"Oh, he's adorable." She gushed, suddenly feeling a pang in her heart as it reminded her of her own little boy that she'd lost years ago.

"Thank you." Sam looked proud, glancing over at Dean who was smiling gently at her.

"What is his name?" Castiel wondered.

"Ryan. We wanted something unique, like a fresh start."

"No old family names." Sam agreed. "And no naming him after other people, it's too painful considering…well, our memories."

Dean narrowed his eyes at the thought of John and Bobby, nodding.

"I like it." Cas decided.

"Me too. It suits him." Jody added.

"It's alright." Rowena drawled.

There was a long silence then, a pleasant one as everyone surrounded the new baby and fawned over him. It was the most peace they'd all felt in years.

Until it was interrupted by a familiar voice. "I knew I was disliked, but to gather everyone and purposefully leave me out. Why, I'm actually a bit hurt."

"Crowley." Dean straightened up. "We were gonna tell you…eventually."

Sam gave him an awkward, unconvincing smile that clearly told him they hadn't planned to.

"Right, well. I bear gifts."

Dean blinked as a necklace with a crystal attached to the end was placed in his palm. "What's this?"

"Carnelian stone. It's for protection, good luck, blah blah blah. He doesn't have to wear it. Just think of it as a present you'll most likely shove into some drawer and forget about."

"…thank you."

"Why, hello." He gazed at the infant in the sheriff's arms. "Good luck with these two for fathers."

The brothers scoffed almost in unison, ignoring him as they glanced down at the newborn. The silent peace washed over them again, permeating the air with pleasant silence as they admired the new life.

o

Cas took Dean to the side later that day, while they waited for Sam to come back with their take-out. "I don't wish to alarm you as I know you aren't feeling quite yourself yet."

"I'm okay." He told him, bouncing the whimpering infant gingerly in his arms. Dean adjusted his onesie, before wrapping the blanket more tightly around him. "What did you wanna tell me?"

"There's word in hell that Lucifer has plans to—!"

"Let me guess, escape again. Why am I not surprised?" Dean shook his head.

"It's worse than mere escape. He wants to create something."

The older hunter nodded with interest. "Okay, what?"

"An abomination. A Nephilim." He explained, furrowing his brows. "I imagine the only thing more powerful and dangerous than Lucifer would be his offspring."

Dean's eyes widened. "Hold up. Nephilim are more powerful than angels?"

"Yes, don't you remember Jane? Or perhaps you don't."

"He won't be able to create one anyway, he's locked away."

"For now. Crowley says he'll be keeping an eye out."

"Good, cause that would be the last thing we need."

o

After everyone had left and it was finally just the three of them, Sam and Dean laid in bed eating leftovers as they watched television on a laptop. The baby monitor rested on the nightstand next to them, complete with a small camera.

Ryan was fast asleep last they checked, suckling on a pacifier as he laid face up. His tiny fists curled upwards, warm and trembling as he stretched out.

"You feeling better?" Sam asked.

"Holy crap, stop asking. I'm okay."

He kissed his cheek in response, before finishing his food. "Just making sure."

"Man, I'm just happy I can have coffee again. And beer. Not gonna lie, I missed it." Since he wasn't breastfeeding, drinking wouldn't pose an issue.

Dean set his food down suddenly, heading towards the bathroom. The new entrance felt odd again, but not so painful this time. He felt uncertainly down there, relieved to find the opening was in fact slowly receding. Hopefully, it would disappear. Dean assumed it was part of the spell, his body's way of coping with a pregnancy it wasn't originally designed for.

"Dean?" Sam opened the door, flinching at the heated glare he received.

He was half naked, not keen on being seen nude right after having a baby. His bump was gone, his belly softer and deflated. Dean figured exercising could wait a little while, but he didn't want Sam looking at him right now.

"Sorry." Sam leaned against the doorframe. "You look fine to me."

Dean pulled his sweats back on, frowning. "Whatever, thanks. Anyway, the opening's gone."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Finally."

"Good to hear. Well, I should check on Ryan again. You go ahead and get some rest."

Dean felt warmth spread through him, nodding. He kissed him quickly on the lips as he passed. "Thanks, Sam. You know what, you're alright."

The younger man rolled his eyes amusedly at his attempt of a joke, watching as he slid under the covers. He gazed at him lovingly a few moments, before heading to Ryan's nursery. It was hard to imagine how their life would turn out as he grew up, but he was looking forward to their new life as a family of three.

It suddenly sounded more appealing to change diapers, take turns feeding him, raising Ryan than to hunt the way they used to. All they could do now was look forward. They'd take it day by day, like their former life.


	14. Chapter 14

The bunker became a family home with more decorations and added touches. They considered leaving, but it was a huge space in a fairly nice town. It seemed foolish to leave. Ryan had plenty of space to grow and run around, not to mention countless books and knowledge they could give to him.

The little one was four now and was quite bright for his age. Or at least they thought so. Dean couldn't believe he'd be starting kindergarten soon. Time was flying by too fast. He now knew how parents felt when they lamented their children grew up too quickly.

"Papa!" He exclaimed, clambering into his lap. "Can I have some cookies? Pwease?"

"No, you're in trouble young man. You weren't very nice to your father yesterday." Dean reminded him.

Ryan pouted, his green eyes watering as he stared up at him. He looked just like Dean, but with darker hair and had more of Sam's eyes shape than his own. Like a perfect mix, really.

"I said I was sowry." He promised. "I didn't mean it."

"I know, but this is a learning lesson. If you're polite and a good helper, you get the things you want. If you're a brat, you go in time out." Dean explained calmly, not about to be suckered by that puppy-dog face.

"All I said was that he was a mean dummy." The child explained like he was discussing a drawing or the weather.

"Buddy, it's not nice. And your father's not stupid or mean, he was just trying to make sure you didn't get hurt. You're not supposed to mess with dangerous things like knives or scissors."

"I was just trying to fight like you." The boy insisted.

Dean frowned—he did still hunt here and there, working on cars the rest of his time. It was how he made his living. Sam had entirely quit hunting and worked full time at the legislative office. It was beginning to dawn on him he was a bad influence on his son. He didn't want Ryan to become a hunter, he wanted him to have the life they'd been denied. Or denied themselves, rather.

"I'm not doing that anymore and you shouldn't either." Dean told him, smiling fondly. "Okay, Ryan?"

"Yes." He mumbled petulantly.

"Time for bed." He insisted.

"Ugh, why? I don't wanna. I'm not sleepy." The boy cried, clinging onto him despite his protests.

Dean rubbed his back, hoisting him onto his hip as he stood up. "It's nine o'clock, it's time for bed."

"Nooo!" He screeched, still holding onto his shirt for dear life.

"Ryan." Dean said sternly, effectively silencing him for a couple minutes.

o

When he tried to get him changed, that proved a little difficult. But despite his whining protests, the man got him changed into his pj's and tucked him into bed. Ryan pouted still, but began rubbing at his eyes.

"Sleepy?" He asked knowingly.

"No…." But he kept rubbing his eyes, yawning. "I'm sowry I said 'dat to daddy."

"I know you are, Ry. You're only in trouble for tonight, then you can have some cookies tomorrow if you're good. Alright?"

"Alright…" The child agreed sullenly, nodding.

"That's my boy." He kissed the top of his head, ruffling his brown hair. "Good night."

Ryan turned and flicked on his nightlight just like how his papa had shown him, beaming as it lit the room up a little. Needless to say, he was very afraid of the dark. Especially the dark closet.

"G'night!" The child yelled as Dean shut the door quietly.

Dean went to bed alone, knowing Sam wouldn't be back for a couple days. He was out of town on business. Closing his eyes, he drifted into a light sleep for a good hour, until he heard a loud scream. Jolting out of bed, he raced to Ryan's room and flung the door open.

"Ryan, what's wrong?"

The little boy looked petrified, trembling as his father kneeled next to his bed. "I heard something scary. Can you check my closet?"

"Fine. Only once, then it's back to bed."

"But the monsters could get me!"

"They won't." Dean opened the door, revealing nothing but clothes and boxes inside. "See? Nothing there."

"Can you check under my bed?"

Dean wanted to sigh, but did as told. Ryan didn't usually ask him to do this after all, it was rare. So he dropped to his knees, pretending to scan it thoroughly for his son's sake.

"No monsters."

"I bet you could beat 'em up." The child's tone was strange suddenly, but he thought nothing of it.

After all, Dean was a hunter. Former hunter, whatever. His kid knew that.

"I sure could, kid. Now, good night. For real this time."

"Okay." He smiled, crawling back under his covers. "I'm not scared anymore."

Dean only smiled, closing the door tightly. He walked through the hallways, wanting a late night snack. As he entered the kitchen, his heart almost stopped. Ryan was there, opening the refrigerator with a fistful of cookies in his tiny hand, covered with a paper towel.

"Ryan."

The little boy gasped, dropping his cookies. "Papa…sowry…I just really wanted some chocolate chip cookies. I only have two, see?"

Dean wasn't even listening. His heart was racing, confused and alarmed. Perhaps he'd imagined him being in his room. There was no way this was happening. Not again, not after all these years. It couldn't be Azazel.

He grabbed his son, hurriedly racing to their old storage trunk. Taking out a vial of holy water, he gestured for him to open his mouth. Ryan looked confused, but did so. After taking a sip, he looked at him curiously.

"Water?" The boy asked.

"Oh, god." He breathed, holding him close.

There were loud footsteps suddenly, banging unnaturally hard. No human could make that sort of racket. Dean felt genuine fear creep up his spine, even though he was used to this. Grabbing a knife and slipping a gun into his belt, he crept forward while keeping a hold on Ryan. The boy looked tired and confused by this point, rubbing his eyes.

"What's going on?" He asked.

A loud banging sounded near them but he couldn't see anything. Whatever it was, wasn't visible to the human eye. It could've been a demon or a spirit, but it was clearly vengeful. It didn't bother to materialize in front of him as a being.

Moving to get some salt, he easily made a circle around them. Loud, almost animalistic noises filled the kitchen. Dean looked worried, keeping his back against the counter. It sounded like a dog of some sort, maybe a hell-hound.

"Who are you?" He shouted. "What do you want?"

o

He woke up in a cold sweat, panting heavily. Dean stared at the clock, unsure which part had been a nightmare and which was real. Throwing the covers back, he hurriedly went to Ryan's room and quietly opened the door.

The boy slept peacefully, clutching his teddy bear tightly.

He deflated from relief. His heart was still racing. It all seemed real. It made the hunter realize how messed up their lives had been, for him to even still have dreams like those. Dean closed the door, placing a hand to his mouth.

He almost felt tempted to call Sam, but didn't want to bother him this late. Letting out a breath, he tried to calm down. There was no threat. They were fine.

"Are you alright, Dean?"

Cas' voice made him jump slightly and he placed a hand over his heart. "I'm getting too old for you to do that."

"You're still in your forties, you're not so old."

"Well, thanks, but my heart feels old right now." It was racing so hard it almost hurt.

Cas pressed a hand to his shoulder and the action relaxed him. Dean took a breath, smirking at the angel. "I'm glad you came here tonight."

"Of course. We're family."

It made Dean grin. "You should visit more often."

"I know. I'll try my best."

When Sam came back, Ryan raced to meet him. He flung his arms around his broad shoulders, squealing delightedly and giggling when he picked him up.

"Daddy!"

"Hi, bud. You been good?"

"Yes."

"He's been great."

Ryan struggled out of his grip, running back to his 'mother'. The little boy babbled to Dean about the drawing he made, making the older man smile fondly at him. Sam loved how different he was with kids—it was a gentler side of his brother that most never saw.

"Oh, what? You're not gonna tell me about your drawing?" Sam teased.

Ryan blushed. "No, I was gonna. I swear."

"It's actually pretty good. Kid might be an artist. Or some kind of designer."

"That's like the opposite of us. I like that." Sam laughed.

Dean smirked in response. "Hey Ryan, wanna go to the park today?"

"Yay!"

"Let's go. We can get some ice cream too."

"See you guys later." Sam said warmly, watching them go.

He cherished moments like these, before they got older and their son was no longer little. Over the years, their wants had changed. For Sam, he had bounced back and forth between wanting a regular life and hunting with his brother Dean.

In the end, he was glad that he had stuck by his side all these years instead of choosing the easy route. It led them to living an extreme, yet interesting life and Ryan existed because they'd chosen each other.

Sam gazed up at the clouds, smiling. For now, there was peace. And if there was another threat, they would do whatever they could. And if they couldn't, a new generation of hunters would. He continued to smile, feeling the warm sun beating down on his skin. Grabbing the handle, he glanced about before heading inside, shutting the door behind him.

Shaking his head a little as he entered the room, he mused again at how strange their lives truly were. Yet, he wouldn't trade it for anything. It might not have been anyone else's version of ordinary, but it was theirs.

* * *

 **Reviews are appreciated. Or flames, I could use them to warm myself up since it's cold right now. I hope you enjoyed this random crazy ass story. Happy Holidays!**

 **Btw I'm huge fan of Supernatural, so I don't want people thinking I'm making fun of it. I honestly hope the show ends well. I really hope that they don't do the 'Buffy' ending where everyone becomes a hunter instead of a vampire slayer. Part of what makes Sam and Dean 'special' is the hunting! If everyone became a hunter that would be stupid, seriously. Not to bash Buffy which I loved but c'mon that ending!**


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